Approaching someone with Munchausens

[Anonymous57]

I really need help/advice from anyone who has gone through the same. A long story cut very short is I suspect my mother has munchausen syndrome.

I have grew up with my Mum and watched her and listened to her lie about many things over the years even to myself about some huge life changing secrets and even when she has been caught out she will still stick to the lie.

I've also witnessed her fabricate illnesses in the past, I've heard her on the phone to people when I was younger saying X, Y and Z and they were never true, they were physical illnesses for example, she would be saying to her friends over the phone s "I havent got out of bed all weekend as I've non-stop been sick" but she would of been out shopping all that day...there are many more and there is no point in me going into each detail trying to convince you as I have witnessed it all, but her latest one is losing her voice, I'm at my witsend as I've been dealing with this all my life and have my own mental illnesses, no doubt they have come from my childhood which also now I have very lack of patience. I'm very understanding and I'd do anything for anyone but I am one of them that will say how I see it and it isn't just me who can see how fake this losing the voice thing is. I've been reading up on munchausen's and it says the only way they can get help is by admitting it, the type of person she is she will never admit it, it's going to end up damaging our relationship not just the
munchausen's but the constant lies. We've been down this road before and we did fall out for a few years but seems some things will never change. Please could I have advice, please try to be understanding I wish to help her but also I've gone through this my whole life where it has also effected myself.

I guess you have to ask yourself, what's in it for her? What does she gain by admitting it? Nothing, and as you say yourself she will never do this so the next question is where do you go from here? Do you try and understand why she's like this? Do you ignore the fake illnesses, knowing that one day there will be an illness that is real? Do you go low/no contact for your own sanity?

What, in an ideal world, would be the best outcome for you with no change in her?

My mother is the same- she invents dramatic illnesses that make everyone worry about her, mysterious conditions that afflict her more than anyone else, allergies and intolerances to anything and everything (mouthwash, contact lenses, tampons, plastic shower curtains). So many times I have driven hundreds of miles to take her to emergency hospital appointments which I’ve paid for because I’m so worried about the latest terrible illness, only to find that there’s nothing wrong with her.
It’s classic cry wolf behaviour, and has resulted in me no longer believing anything she says, which is unfortunate as she’s now quite elderly and is no doubt starting to legitimately suffer with various medical issues.
I don’t have any advice but you’re not alone! Presumably it stems from a need for attention.

My mother also faked losing her voice and said she’d lost it a couple of weeks beforehand. I pointed out that the previous day she’d spent several hours chatting to friends on the phone in my presence. She told me I was lying.