How to cope better with neighbour noise - help!

[torgirl]

Just want to start this chat by saying I'm very aware that I am very noise sensitive which ties into my anxiety and PTSD.

For the last 10 or so years I've made sure I've rented rural detached properties (very small and cheap) that haven't had nearby neighbours as I know how much I hate it. However due to the recent rise in rents and energy bills and a fairly stagnant wage I've had to move in with my sister (still paying rent tho).

Her property is a 1970s terraced house in a small town. The walls seem pretty thin. Can hear noise very often from both sides, voices, doors slamming, DIY, etc. Plus both have young kids making lots of noise in the garden too.

Because of this I'm feeling utterly overwhelmed and very stressed and anxious with the noise. I'm very aware that none of the noise is the kind that can be complained about, it's just people living their lives but it absolutely drives me to distraction. It's a me problem, I know.

I already have a white noise machine and a fan in my bedroom but neither are helping. I cannot use earplugs or headphones as I have tinnitus and they both make it worse (also my audiologist has warned me against their use).

Basically I need to know how to care less about the noise. There are so many things I'd rather focus on, want to get on with and enjoy my life but this is just ruining my peace and making me very unhappy. Sadly moving is just not an option at the moment for financial reasons.

Any ideas with how to mentally cope with noise better?

See if there's a CONTROL practitioner in your area; this is an emotional rather than a physical problem. There's a part of your subconscious mind that believes, erroneously, that you need to pay attention to every noise and is alerting your conscious mind - hence the overwhelm. The reticular activating system in the brain filters out information, noises and stimuli that aren't important or relevant to us; it's why people can sleep in airports but still hear their own name mentioned across a crowded room.

As an aside you could deal with your anxiety and PTSD at the same time.

I was going to suggest noise cancelling headphones, but see you can’t use them. I have listened to so many audiobooks and podcasts since my noisy neighbours moved in. Like your neighbours they are just living life, although why they have to slam doors and run around like idiots all day I don’t know.

how long do you anticipate that you will be in a position to move? We are planning on selling up next year, so it definitely helps me to cope knowing that there is an end in sight.

I’m in a similar position, I have Alexa devices up and downstairs that I play in the background constantly. It helps but doesn’t solve the problem which is party other peoples selfishness but partly my messed up head 🙄

I feel your pain OP. I ended up having to start again with a large mortgage in my 40s so I could move to a detached house. I also listened to podcasts or audiobooks to block the noise and help me sleep. Would headband earphones be usable?

MUSICOZY Sleep Headphones Bluetooth Headband,Wireless Sleeping Headphones Sleep Music Headband Running Headphones Bed headphones for Sport/Workout/Relaxation amzn.eu/d/c9zL3wu

I also listened to punk noise on my phone through headphones which I found better than white noise.

Pink not punk! Although that would probably do the trick too!

Thank you. Yes you're right it's definitely an emotional issue. I have a great nhs psychologist for my anxiety and PTSD and am on medication. This has enabled me to live a fairly normal life except nothing has worked on my noise anxiety. I am waiting to be assessed for autism as my psychologist believes I may have this and this could be the root cause of my noise sensitivity.

It drives me crazy and is ruining my life. All the other suggestions are just ways of avoiding the noise which actually makes things worse for me in the long term. I think I will try EDMR or hypnotherapy. Unfortunately budget constraints mean these will have to wait until I can afford it. Just wish I could wake up one day and not care about neighbour noise anymore!

You will 😊Remedial hypnosis isn't expensive or time consuming; this is an issue that's normally resolved within a couple of sessions.

Thank you 🙂