Partner being admitted into hospital

ThankYouMama · 2023-05-05T20:17:21+00:00

Hi ☹️ I just need a peace of mind, I'm very anxious, worried and upset at the moment. My partner suffers with severe OCD (mostly cleaning) he has been approved to be admitted into the priory for treatment, he has tried therapy but it didn't work, so this is the last resort for him. Does anyone know how long he will be there for? Can they force medication on him? He has said during the duration of the time he is there he doesn't want any contact with the outside world neither does he want anyone to visit him. I am scared and anxious I am not used to living alone, I too suffer from anxiety and I do not feel as if I'm going to be able to manage ☹️

Tartanpup · 05/05/2023 21:19

Sorry you’re both going through this OP, I have no advice just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. If he isn’t sectioned then I’m sure they can’t force him to take medication.

My ex was admitted to a mental health facility (not sectioned) and it done him the world of good

Justanothermum01 · 05/05/2023 21:23

So has he been offered an informal admission under the NHS or is this private? Have they explained the purpose of the admission ( medication, specific therapy?) Its quite unusual for someone to be admitted to a psychiatric bee for OCD / anxiety unless its really severe and even then its really hard to secure funding orca bed.
Do you mind me asking what specifically you are worrying about? Is your partner your carer? Do u have any other support?

Original poster

ThankYouMama · 05/05/2023 21:33

Justanothermum01 · 05/05/2023 21:23

So has he been offered an informal admission under the NHS or is this private? Have they explained the purpose of the admission ( medication, specific therapy?) Its quite unusual for someone to be admitted to a psychiatric bee for OCD / anxiety unless its really severe and even then its really hard to secure funding orca bed.
Do you mind me asking what specifically you are worrying about? Is your partner your carer? Do u have any other support?

He is my partner.

We've had to go private, and the treatment is very expensive, I'm just hoping that it works, because if it doesn't then I don't know what I am going to do.

He has only told me little bits of what they have told him.

I am worried about the care and treatment he will receive there will not work for him.

I'm also worried about being home alone, he has insisted that our 17 month year old go and stay with his mum because I find it very overwhelming to look after the both of them at once (our 6 year old tends to misbehave/doesn't listen when it's just me and him, but if it's just him and I, I'll be able to handle it)

OP posts:

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 05/05/2023 21:35

Well he’s in hospital, he can’t insist on anything.

what do you want?

Dogsarebetterthanhumans · 05/05/2023 21:39

Do you know what? Your partner will be absolutely fine. You needn’t worry. Which Priory is it?
Sounds like it’s a voluntary admission so they won’t be able to force him to take medication but he might be encouraged if it is indicated and the Consulting Psychiatrist sees a need.
The Priory is kitted out reasonably well and although it’s a bit 3 star hotelish at times; he will be well supported, have a key nurse to look after him, a consultant to oversee his care and lots of people to talk to.
OCD can be really severe and actually some units do have programmes specifically for OCD and related disorders so he will be with like-minded people who get him. He will probably make loads of friends!
For you, harness support from any friends and family and even work colleagues you have around you and respect his wishes if he doesn’t want visitors- treatment is quite intense and can be knackering at the end of the day.
I think deep down you know you can cope with the day to day stuff but you are just a bit anxious about being alone- you will get into a groove and you will be okay, honestly.

all the best to your partner in his treatment and you for your getting through this. Xx

Shimmyshimmycocobop · 05/05/2023 21:43

I'm surprised he's receiving treatment for severe OCD without having first been on medication. Usually a trial of different anti depressants and/or anxiety meds will have been tried. It's very hard to treat OCD, especially if it has become severe, with therapy alone.

I'm sorry you are both going through this and I know how debilitating OCD can be but he's lucky to be receiving inpatient care. I hope he gets better soon.

Crikeyohreilly · 05/05/2023 22:00

Deep breath - you’ve got this. It’s scary right now and overwhelming mainly because you don’t know what to expect or what’s happening. Once you have some more information you’ll feel much more reassured. You can do this. We are here if you need company or to vent

Original poster

ThankYouMama · 05/05/2023 23:34

Shimmyshimmycocobop · 05/05/2023 21:43

I'm surprised he's receiving treatment for severe OCD without having first been on medication. Usually a trial of different anti depressants and/or anxiety meds will have been tried. It's very hard to treat OCD, especially if it has become severe, with therapy alone.

I'm sorry you are both going through this and I know how debilitating OCD can be but he's lucky to be receiving inpatient care. I hope he gets better soon.

That is the problem, he has been offered medication several times but is adamant not to take it.

OP posts:

Original poster

ThankYouMama · 05/05/2023 23:34

Crikeyohreilly · 05/05/2023 22:00

Deep breath - you’ve got this. It’s scary right now and overwhelming mainly because you don’t know what to expect or what’s happening. Once you have some more information you’ll feel much more reassured. You can do this. We are here if you need company or to vent

Thank you babe, I really appreciate your kind words.

OP posts:

Original poster

ThankYouMama · 05/05/2023 23:37

Dogsarebetterthanhumans · 05/05/2023 21:39

Do you know what? Your partner will be absolutely fine. You needn’t worry. Which Priory is it?
Sounds like it’s a voluntary admission so they won’t be able to force him to take medication but he might be encouraged if it is indicated and the Consulting Psychiatrist sees a need.
The Priory is kitted out reasonably well and although it’s a bit 3 star hotelish at times; he will be well supported, have a key nurse to look after him, a consultant to oversee his care and lots of people to talk to.
OCD can be really severe and actually some units do have programmes specifically for OCD and related disorders so he will be with like-minded people who get him. He will probably make loads of friends!
For you, harness support from any friends and family and even work colleagues you have around you and respect his wishes if he doesn’t want visitors- treatment is quite intense and can be knackering at the end of the day.
I think deep down you know you can cope with the day to day stuff but you are just a bit anxious about being alone- you will get into a groove and you will be okay, honestly.

all the best to your partner in his treatment and you for your getting through this. Xx

Thank you for the reassurance, it's in London so I know he is close to me ☹️

Probably sounds weird, but I'm going to miss him.

Do you know how long he will have to stay there for

OP posts:

MuckyPlucky · 05/05/2023 23:40

You’ve agreed to his ‘insistence’ that you separate your 17mo from its parents and sibling for an as-yet unspecified period of time, because you’d struggle to cope with your own two children, without his input (which, if he’s as severely ill as an inpatient stay would necessitate) is probably worth not much?

And you struggle with anxiety such that you’re worried you’ll not cope, even with one fewer child?

I can’t help but be concerned about the whole set-up and concerned that you think it’s reasonable, sending the 17mo away just because his dad’s checked himself into the Priory. Poor toddler 😔

MuckyPlucky · 05/05/2023 23:42

There’s no use asking how long he’ll “have” to stay there for. He doesn’t have to stay for any specific period of time, nor to go at all. This is elective treatment he’s chosen & paid privately for, and he can go or stay for whatever period of time. It’s not like he’s been sectioned under the MH Act (in which case you’d be correct in wondering how long he had to stay in).

trackerc · 06/05/2023 00:05

I hope you're doing ok.
You seem a little out of the loop in all this. He's telling you snippets of things that are very important, don't add up & some of this sounds odd to me.
Requiring hospital admission is serious & the pathway would ordinarily involve intense community treatment, therapy & discussion on options. What discussion has there been with you on all this? Should this be part of a treatment pathway, this is never ‘his last chance’ as treatment & therapy can work in lots of different situations, conditions & times.
What I’m unsure about is all this sounds like you’re getting a potted version. Might you tell us a little on what the extent of OCD is & how it impacts him & your family?
I know you say 'expensive' but I wonder if you know the actual price & detail of this inpatient admission. For whatever cost this would be for even a couple of nights you'd have the funds for a round the clock professional nanny to help you support your 2DC. Yet this admission whilst insisting you send your child to his mums.
Then the declaration to not to be in contact during his (unknown duration) admission. Is this what you know from the treatment, Priory advice & leaflets or just his opinion?
I'd be suspicious he'd be taking his passport to hospital & coming back with a tan (my cynicism)

Original poster

ThankYouMama · 06/05/2023 07:04

trackerc · 06/05/2023 00:05

I hope you're doing ok.
You seem a little out of the loop in all this. He's telling you snippets of things that are very important, don't add up & some of this sounds odd to me.
Requiring hospital admission is serious & the pathway would ordinarily involve intense community treatment, therapy & discussion on options. What discussion has there been with you on all this? Should this be part of a treatment pathway, this is never ‘his last chance’ as treatment & therapy can work in lots of different situations, conditions & times.
What I’m unsure about is all this sounds like you’re getting a potted version. Might you tell us a little on what the extent of OCD is & how it impacts him & your family?
I know you say 'expensive' but I wonder if you know the actual price & detail of this inpatient admission. For whatever cost this would be for even a couple of nights you'd have the funds for a round the clock professional nanny to help you support your 2DC. Yet this admission whilst insisting you send your child to his mums.
Then the declaration to not to be in contact during his (unknown duration) admission. Is this what you know from the treatment, Priory advice & leaflets or just his opinion?
I'd be suspicious he'd be taking his passport to hospital & coming back with a tan (my cynicism)

His OCD is very severe, continuous cleaning or looking for something to clean, compulsive behaviour, it is literally ruining our lives.

It's also sad because our 6 year old is picking up some of his habits, e.g we went out to eat at a restaurant and he asked if he could have a cup of hot water to put his cutlery in, also there's been a few issues at school ☹️

And yes, I do know the price because I am paying the bill, which I have no problem doing as long as I know he is going to get the best treatment.

You'd be suspicious that you're partner would lie and go on holiday instead?? Now that's concerning, perhaps you should your suspicions about him in the relationship section 😟

OP posts:

Dogsarebetterthanhumans · 06/05/2023 11:28

OP I feel for you as you don’t have much info on this so it’s the unknown making you anxious.

Going into psych hospital is not like going into regular hospital where they say; ‘you’re going to have this operation; thou can go home on Wednesday.’ It’s completely different because no one knows how you will respond to treatment or therapy and how you will get on. The mind is very difficult to get right.

I would say up to three months, maybe less, maybe more. Hugely dependent on whether he is open-minded enough to try some meds though, for sure. Medication can be really really useful in OCD, Olanzapine for instance can be a lifesaver in severe OCD. My bet is that once he gets there and sees others taking meds and nothing drastic happening to them; he will be more willing to give it a go.

This isn’t last chance saloon; there are new treatments and therapies coming up all the time and if he doesn’t respond to one; they’ll try another. He will get ERP for OCD and probably other group therapies on a daily basis.

Your son seems like he is showing the signs of this as you say and it’s important to get him into treatment before it gets worse. Get him infront of a child Psychiatrist and nip this in the bud as it’s a life-changing illness. This is something you are in control of- the Priory will probably have someone he can see as an outpatient. That’s what I would do if it were my child. OCD can spiral and as you have seen it takes over.

hope this helps a bit x

Sheldonn · 13/05/2023 22:19

Hi @ThankYouMama I've been in the North London Priory OCD unit. I was there for 9 months and it saved my life. Most people are there 1-3 months for OCD. I stayed longer as I was sectioned as suicidal.

I read your last thread and so hoped your partner would get him because the way he's living is completely unfair on you and your kids.

If you want to talk about what it's like from my point of view, please do ask or PM me.

Also, no, they can't/won't force meds on a voluntary patient.

Sheldonn · 13/05/2023 22:21

Oh and as previous poster mentioned- I went on Olanzapine while there (I was VERY resistant to taking meds) and my life is a million times more manageable now. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle but me and my family are living a normal normal stable life these days. I took a lot of meds in my younger years and hated them all, hence the resistance. But I eventually caved in and took them and it's the best thing I've done, if I miss it for 2 days I can hear the madness roaring in my head again.