Might need a bit of a handhold today

[Hurryupandleave]

I have PTSD due to an attack a few years ago, my home is my sanctuary and today it is full of workmen doing a fairly major essential repair, they will be here all day. I'm shut in my living room trying to keep my dog calm, worrying about my cat (shut in an unaffected bedroom, the dog barking will stress her more if I try to have her with me) and feeling sick and scared and sort of violated, I just want them to go. I'm gritting my teeth and getting through it, have managed to be friendly, offered drinks etc but I'm struggling not to spiral.

Oh I hate having strangers in my house, especially men and I haven't been through the trauma you have. Lots of cuddles from your pooch and keep busy in the living room, puzzles, crafts, organising maybe?

Have you had any counselling for your attack OP?

Thanks, I have some paperwork I'm supposed to be sorting to keep busy but the anxiety is paralysing me too much atm. I'm trying to watch tv until I calm down a bit but it's not working as yet. I haven't had counselling no, the last time I tried they offered me group cbt miles away from home when I could barely leave the house and certainly couldn't have shared my feelings with strangers. I used to use propanolol for stressful situations but haven't needed it for a while and didn't have enough notice about this repair to get any prescribed unfortunately.

How did your day go OP?

The job went fairly smoothly thanks for asking, just wish stuff that I assume is relatively easy for other people didn't turn me into an anxious wreck! My house doesn't smell right (I'm autistic and v sensitive to smells) and there's a lot of dust but apart from that I feel much better now they've gone. I have 3 more days now where they have to come back to do bits spread out over the next week or so but at least they won't be all day jobs so shouldn't be as bad. I suppose days like today just bring home that I'm 'different' because of how stressful I find them, it shouldn't be such a drama having work done.

I'm glad it went OK and the main part is done. You just proved to yourself that you CAN do these things and it will be OK. I too am on propranolol and I'd recommend you have some handy just for those moments if you feel it would help. I still have anxiety but I'm not crippled with it as I was before. I thought I was going to have a heart attack walking to work or if my mum was coming over for tea (we have a good relationship, no need to feel worried at all) You are definitely not the only one to feel this way. There's a lot more of us than you think!