Repeatedly over thinking negative moments

[howfartospar]

Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with rumination?

I had a negative incident at work this week, and I've done nothing but play it over and over in my mind.

I think it may be to do with an inability to have people dislike me or maybe my ego is playing a part.

Either way it's eating into my family time and affects my mental health.

If anyone has any tips on how to deal with this I be very very grateful.

TIA

Distraction? Maybe you could plan in advance what you'll do if it starts happening.

I've experienced this before. My therapist taught me the following:

A. Does it help matters to ruminate on the difficult moment? No, it just causes you pain. If there are practical things you can do to help the situation, sure, investigate those. If you're just spinning and spinning thinking about it- this won't help anyone or resolve anything.

B. The brain of someone who has experienced repeated painful situation trains itself to look out for difficult moments and becomes used to focusing on them. Brains follow the paths most followed. It takes work to not automatically follow the path your brain wants to take you. You can change this and challenge your thoughts!

C. So it was difficult. And? You are alive, you're ok and it is probably your feelings about the situation rather than situation itself that are making you feel so bad now.
I used to be shocked by the brutality of my therapists "so what's the worst that can happen?" questions but in a way it is quite liberating, as she'd make me realise that I am not in danger, it just feels like it.

I think it may be to do with an inability to have people dislike me

When did you learn that?

Exercise will help. Something that will get you out of breath. Walk in nature it’s a great way to unwind the mind.

Think about how you can prevent it happening again. Write it down on piece of paper, fold it up small and put it away.

I imagine you are a hardworking, conscientious person because people who aren’t wouldn’t give a shit. You do. You care about your work and how you come across to other people. People at work will know this. You didn’t do something wrong on purpose. You are human and will make mistakes. We all do. There will be people who don’t like you. Even if you are 100% perfect at your job. Focus on people who care about you.

This started with me in peri. How old are you ?

I have this problem.

You have to ask yourself if this will matter in 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 years?

The other thing I do is to reframe the situation and see it from a different perspective.

I'm 43. Not sure what peri is?

I love the 'brutality' of your therapist and think i need to apply some of it to me. My rumination doesn't improve matters and some people would just shrug off what happened.

Peri menopause

Of course. I really shouldn't post while I'm still half asleep 😔

I get this too.
Even normal conversations when on a walk I avoid sometimes as I just keep re playing them after.
It's worse when I'm anxious to start with which is when I'm due on my period.
I try to just reassure myself they I won't remember it in two years time.
When really bad I try yoga or meditating. Or any exercise you want may help.