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10 replies

Sorrythatnameistaken · 24/04/2023 08:22

I have suffered from low mood/anxiety and periods of severe depression since having a "breakdown" at 13 years old. Since then I've tried pretty much every medication going - 13 in total I think, seen psychiatrists, had 4 rounds of CBT, seen a psychologist, several counsellors and am currently seeing a psychotherapist. I have been checked for ASD, ADHD and personality disorders at my request and been told I don't have any of them. I've been told I could have generalised anxiety disorder, treatment resistant depression, complex trauma (PTSD) but no-one seems to agree. All I know is that I am always sad, admittedly to varying degrees but I always have an emptiness in me and it dominates my life. I feel constantly overwhelmed and on the verge of tears and regularly end up crying in the mornings and in the shower. It's exhausting to fight it and keep putting on a mask for family and friends everyday. I overthink everything often to the point of panic but its all in my head no-one can see because Ive had 25 years of practice at hiding it. I'm married and have two amazing children and work in a job I love but I just feel so disconnected from what I have all the time because of this gnawing unhappiness. There have been times over the years that were better, long periods where I was free of it but I can't work out why and now I seem to have settled into this horrible sad, overwhelmed, irritability and just can't break free anymore. It's no life for me or for my family because what I'm giving them isn't real or enough.
But what do you do when you've tried everything? Has anyone else been here? Is there something I'm missing because I don't want this to be it for me for the rest of my life. I just feel so lost 😪

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Eyesopenwideawake · 24/04/2023 08:26

What happened when you were 13?

Sorrythatnameistaken · 24/04/2023 08:33

@Eyesopenwideawake I had a bit of a complex childhood - I suffered several forms of abuse then when my parents divorced at 13 I had a breakdown I think I just couldn't cope anymore

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Eyesopenwideawake · 24/04/2023 08:49

I'm sorry, but not surprised. Mental health issues often start in childhood; that time when you are learning about who you are and your place in the world but, crucially, without the capacity to make rational sense of what's happening.

What might be happening now (and ever since that time) is that your subconscious mind is trying to make sense of what happened during that time and to work out if you could have done anything differently to change the situation. You couldn't, and as an adult you know that, but part of your mind is still stuck in a cycle of trying to figure it out - not to hurt you but to prevent it ever happening again.

If you haven't already, please consider remedial hypnosis - it's very effective at allowing you to communicate with that part of you that's still in turmoil and telling it to stop, because they isn't and probably never was, a solution.

matchalattewithsoy · 24/04/2023 09:22

Eyesopenwideawake · 24/04/2023 08:26

What happened when you were 13?

I'm so sorry this happened to you, it was not your fault. Just like the issues you're experiencing now. As you move forward with life please be kind to yourself about your perceived failures, you are no more a failure than anybody else.

Ilovedogs1 · 24/04/2023 10:19

@Sorrythatnameistaken your story sounds just like mine. When I was a child right through to my teens my parents had a very volatile relationship. It was a regular occurrence to experience physical violence between them including things like knives. I never knew what I was coming home to. My mum also sometimes took her frustrations out on me as I am the oldest both verbally and physically . There was a lot of fear in my childhood.
Now as an adult I have diagnosed OCD, anxiety and sporadic depression. Like you I have periods that are great but when stressful things happen my anxiety/depression spike and become out of control. I understand the frustration that basically we have to live on a merry go round of being well then being ill, repeat repeat. I'm in a depressive phase atm and anxiety if awful. Sending you a big hug. X

Sorrythatnameistaken · 24/04/2023 11:46

Thank you for the replies all. And sorry for the rant. I think I've got to the point where I feel stuck. I have tried everything to feel better but seem to overall feel worse as now I just feel miserable daily and to a higher degree. It feels like I've lost the will a bit.

@Eyesopenwideawake I will look at remedial hypnotherapy I've never heard of it to be honest and anythings worth a go

@matchalattewithsoy thank you for being so kind I do see what you mean but it's hard to think rationally sometimes

@Ilovedogs1 I'm sorry things were and are still so hard for you - how do you cope? Lots of big hugs back xxx

Xxx

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Eyesopenwideawake · 24/04/2023 12:01

@Sorrythatnameistaken - if you do, make sure to talk to someone who has experience in trauma and does "parts" therapy.

Ilovedogs1 · 24/04/2023 12:44

@Sorrythatnameistaken to be honest atm I'm not coping. I'm under the mental health team and using diazepam for anxiety

kingswaycounselling · 24/04/2023 13:14

Just know that you're not alone. My thoughts are with you and hope you start to feel a sense of belonging and love right where you're at.

Sorrythatnameistaken · 25/04/2023 09:48

Oh @Ilovedogs1 I'm so sorry to hear that I really hope that you're being taken care of and make some progress soon. Its so hard to be here - sending gentle hugs.

Thank you @kingswaycounselling it means a lot xxx

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