Constant feeling of inadequacy....

[missytabitha]

Does anyone else relate to this. I have always felt like this, in work and I have a professional type job I always compare myself to others and think they are so competent, intelligent, capable, say the right thing, even their hair is shinier if you you know what I mean! Then I have baby a year ago and these feelings magnify 110%.

I now compare myself to every other mother out there who I know as I do get out and about a lot and they all seem so capable and confident and never forget anything. Every mother I know is 'better than me'. Despite this rationally I know I have a lovely healthy happy baby who I know loves me. I am also happily married. What is wrong with me! I wouldn't say I am depressed but I do suffer from anxiety. How do I stop comparing and even if I do stop caring? Anyone else feel like this? It drives me mad and takes a lot of happiness away from my life. Tomorrow we have a party to go to and I know I will be feeling inadequate again.

I do know what you mean
The grass always seems to be much much much much greener on the other side...well, imo...and so on...tbh...I annoy myself rather often.
TBH, I think the biggest, bestest ever moment in my life will be the moment when I feel completely 100% content with my life and myself...my biggest worry is, that this will never ever happen.

I feel exactly the same inspite of a million reassurances from my husband.I felel ugly,useless,incapable and stupid.I am always in turmoil and always envying what other people have.It does take all the happiness away from my life and I have no peace of mind.

I have been there too, you aren't alone! I can honestly say that it took me more than a year after going back to work when my son was born to feel 'normal' again, I can almost remember the time when I suddenly realised that I was taking in what someone was saying to me, and actually feeling interested in working again. My son is 9 now, and I still compare myself to other more competent mums who seem to be doing everything right, and on time, and still look lovely (well some of them do!)But, my son is happy, and I have a very supportive husband too, and that's a lot more than many have ( just counting your blessings for you!)It's likely that most of the mums you are comparing yourself to have similar or different anxieties, they can just hide it, or don't admit to it! There are also lots of mums out there who are thinking how lucky you are too, and how well you are doing. I know its been said before, but being a new mum is one of the toughest jobs on the planet, and you are doing it - in effect you are doing loads of jobs all at the same time, and that's hard. It will get better, truly. You might not feel 100% content with your life for 100% of the time, wouldn't it be great, but I don't think anyone can. Don't beat yourselves up, you are doing your very best and should be proud of yourselves.
Also, please believe your husband's reassureances, he sounds like a gem!Los of Luck

I've felt like this for as long as I can remember! When I feel really bad I try to focus on the things I like about myself and things I like about my life. Try writing a list of 10 things you like about yourself, and 10 things you love about your life, and look at them when you're feeling bad. I found the lists difficult to write, but they do help me feel more positive about myself when I'm feeling really bad. You've got to write them when you're feeling positive though! Do you think that would help you?