Is my memory loss due to depression or antidepressants?

[VanityKase]

Diagnosed with PND back in August but had symptoms on and off since Feb 22. Started sertraline August (50mg) - felt like an actual zombie with only a few pebbles rattling around in my brain box. I couldn’t think of things to say in conversation. That lasted a few weeks. I was upped to 100mg in December after I couldn’t get out of bed for days.

Months on and I am now getting counselling which is helping enormously. I have felt relatively stable depression wise for the past 6 weeks but my memory is worryingly poor. I used to have excellent memory; almost photographic. Now, I can even hold on to a 3 digit number. My short term memory is the worst. It’s not even like it’s on the “tip of my tongue” or “I’ll remember in a minute” - it’s gone. It’s not retained at all. My long term memory is also affected - it’s like my memories are in a room with a frosted-glass window. I can see the outline of them / the gist of the memory but no details. I am so upset by this as it frustrates me tremendously. I’ve been signed off work since December and am worried about going back because my memory is so poor.

Has anyone had experience with this too??
Is it the meds or the depression itself?

GP didn’t seem too worried about it and wants me to focus on getting better before exploring the memory issue but I’d love to hear of other peoples’ experiences.

I also have memory issues because I've been dealing with chronic stress and depression. Some online research suggested that the memory part of the brain gets allocated less resources when we are stressed/depressed. I expect it to bounce back after our mental health recovers..

@VanityKase This happened to me when I started antidepressant and every time I've switched treatment for a least the first 4/5 months.

It really stressed me out and worried me and each time I've considered stopping the medication because I reply heavily on a good fast and precise memory for my job, and I felt it would never recover.

It did get better for me - my "working memory" takes the biggest hit each time - that's the once that you sort of tally up the cost of your shop with or remember a phone number while you're copying it down.

I found doing really simple puzzle books and things like wordle or quordle helped.

It got better for me and I help its gets better for you.

Well done for sticking with the meds so far, the first moths are horrible - but I do find the drugs work.

@Paridae thank you for sharing your experience. I don’t know anyone that has depression with the memory loss so it has felt quite lonely. I just thought I’d feel cognitively better by now! My mood has improved so much but my memory is still very, very poor. Reading up on memory loss and depression since I’ve posted, I am glad to see that it is mainly the short-term memory that is affected as that is the worst thing for me to cope with. Thank you for the reassurance. Wishing you all the best.

No worries! Just be patient with yourself! I'm sure we will both bounce back

@burgledinParis that’s very reassuring! It’s most definitely my working memory which is causing the most issue. The 3 digit number I was referring to was actually working out costs when splitting a bill.

Do you think it would be worth switching antidepressants to something which might work better or stick with the current one which is working for depression and anxiety but has the memory issue?

@VanityKase im not a doctor - but in my experience they are all the same! And even if after 4-5 months on one it gets better my memory has takes a hit every time I’ve switched … I’ve been medicated for 15 years but every four years or so I make the mistake of thinking I should come of medication - I never learn - I stop functioning and need intervention from friends of family or work to get out of bed after a few good weeks followed by a very bad couple of months … and then the doctor offers a new cocktail or régime that I have to start and my memory suffers so badly I once thought I had early onset dementia … but it does get better every time so far. Hang on in there OP - give it time and stock up on easy sudoku and cross words and work your way through them!

And - benzodiazepines are the very very very worst for memory ( that’s a fact not just my opinion ) so even if they’re an « easy fix » I wouldn’t reccomend going down that route! Hang in there and hopefully you’ll thank your past self in a few months.

@VanityKase

Read this and thought of you

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/apr/08/is-your-memory-struggling-here-are-10-ways-to-boost-recall

@burgledinParis thank you! Very kind of you thinking of me. I have since downloaded some apps on my phone to work on my brain when I have a few minutes spare.

Thank you again for your experiences! I wish you all all the best x

Hi. Did your memory improve eventually as this is happening to a family member and she is terrified.

Hi! Yes I feel like my brain function is back to normal now! A horrible experience as I had such a great memory before but one of those evil necessities as the antidepressants saved my life. It took a few months to get back to normal but it is back!

Thats amazing! Im so happy for you.