Is this therapy useless

[Sandybabey]

I'm mid 40s, have had mental health issues since age 12 or 13, lots of trauma and abusive relationships, was homeless and suffered violence during that time, i had an eating disorder years ago. I've tried to get help for years. Last time was CBT which didn't work for me. My last relationship the man was abusive and threatened me with violence, police were involved. This was very recent, so more trauma. I've been accepted by secondary care and they have put me on a course called COPE, which is I think a type of DBT.
It's very basic to me. First session therapist asked me to think of celebrities who have had similar issues. I said i wasnt really interested in celebrities anymore. She mentioned a couple and I felt like 'so what'', it was pointless. Second session therapist explained the basic emotions and asked me to describe them. Twenty minutes and the session was over, as I had no problems recognising and describing my emotions.
Third session describing in more detail my issues with anger. Me venting all my current difficulties, which are many. The therapist told me to try smiling when I am feeling angry and upset. As this could change the emotion. They also said in emotional situations do the opposite action. But didn't give examples. I just sat there and said nothing. It just feels so lame. Even the CBT seemed to have more structure. The next session is supposed to be problem solving. I really don't want to go back. I asked the therapist what kind of people are doing this therapy, and she said some of them are unable to describe or recognise their own emotions. And they are mostly men. It's really put me off doing it. The therapist is nice enough and we chat a lot about my problems but it just feels so lame and patronising.

Ugh I agree that sounds fucking lame. In answer to your question, yes - for you - this therapy is useless. Onwards and upwards! Quit this and find something that actually works for you. And here’s 💐 for all the shit you’ve experienced in your life.

Sounds awful. You deserve better

This sounds embarrassingly bad. It's not tailored to you and your needs and sounds more like a course they put everyone on, irrespective of their background and problems.

Have you ever had any psychodynamic therapy with a really good therapist who works relationally? Is this anything you could afford? It might be a really good investment for you.

Thanks for the responses. And nice to know that other people agree but very depressing as the service know I have complex issues and trauma and this is what they've offered me. I've spoken to them and it seems I need to do this before being offered any trauma therapy. I can't afford to pay for any myself.

I think I just need to accept that this is all the NHS can offer me in my area.

If you can get a loan for £1k and pay for a course of quality trauma informed therapy privately you would be better off. (£1k would buy 20 sessions in my area which is a good amount to work through a layer of crap in your mind and to give you some good psycho-education). I’d recommend that to anyone unless your financial situation is truly dire. You’re likely to make the money back through improved day to day functioning and increased earning power from having a clearer mind.

Sometimes there is a process where you have to access lower level support and point out it’s not effective before you get stepped up to something more intense. Very frustrating but suggest you see it through and request to be stepped up for something less manualised.

I actually agree with @Heroicallyfound

you need proper trauma informed therapy from an experienced provider who knows what they are doing. This sounds like a waste of your time and completely unhelpful to you.

I’d agree with this, if clients engage reasonably with the less intensive interventions they’re more likely to be ‘stepped up’ to others that may be more helpful/relevant.

it does sound like DBT skills, emotional literacy/regulation and problem solving are part of DBT.

helpful for some I’m sure, but nothing is right for everyone. definitely stick it out if you can though.

It is my understanding that recovery from abuse/coercive control/family harm is best supported with trauma informed therapy that specifically addresses the abuse you experienced.
You can read books by Lundy Bancroft, or watch this series to understand the dynamic.

My financial situation is quite dire tbh. But I may look into private therapy if they do concessions. I understand that to do the DBT and then move onto trauma therapy, but the therapist has said there's no guarantee that will happen. There was never any discussion with me about a plan of treatment or anything, I just got a letter telling me I was on the waiting list for this therapy last year. They also did an assessment of me for autism as I felt so uncomfortable with the nurse I saw initially that I couldn't make eye contact with her. So now I'm waiting for the actual autism assessment.