catastrophizing

[Jusmakingit]

Posting in mental health cause it clearly is a mental health problem I have but just wanted to ask if anyone else has these thoughts/ moments.

Going back years ago a close family friend committed suicide - completely random and out the blue, you wouldn’t have thought this person would do this , one of those people you wouldn’t think would even consider it. Fast forward years of normal family deaths (grandparents, in laws) , my DH dad passed away by heart attack in his sleep and another relative has a massive heart attack and died in front of his family out the blue , unexpected no signs or warning.

i have this massive thing in my head about my partner dying and my children. Either by randomly having a sudden illness like stroke/ heart attack and dying , but at work or asleep when I wouldn’t know and can’t do anything. Or like I said my children getting angry cause of something silly and then do something silly without knowing the implications.

like for example, my partner gets called out to work randomly in the night when the security alarm goes of so he has to go and check there’s no vandals or break ins. Nothing bad has ever happened but I envision someone stabbing him or him falling and getting injured.

I ALWAYS think of these situations.

So I guess I just wanted to know if this is a getting older thing , thinking more about death or if this is the grim reality of life and how people do die :(

Reported to have a trigger warning sorry I forgot

No, it's not a getting older thing. You know hundreds of people who haven't died suddenly but your mind has been shocked by the two sudden deaths of people close to you and has decided this is something to focus on - hence remembering the years old suicide - as a potential threat and is shouting at you to pay attention;

i have this massive thing in my head

Let this massive thing know that you can hear it, that - yes, sudden deaths can and do happen but that they are comparatively rare and that the vast majority of deaths happen peacefully in old age; which you know, logically and from your own experience, is true.

You can't control what happens in life but you can reassure yourself that whatever the future brings you will cope, and that worrying does nothing to affect that future but does rob you of the happiness of living today. If you need more help then consider therapy or even something like volunteering with elderly people to see how unconcerned they are.