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I don't think I'll ever be happy again

12 replies

buttteecuplad · 13/04/2023 07:05

I wake every morning and during then night so sad and worried and anxious
I just don't know how I'll ever be happy again and care free
Is it possible ???

I have felt like these every night now for over a year

OP posts:
Weatherwax13 · 13/04/2023 07:07

Make a GP appointment. You don't have to suffer like this. And yes, you definitely can be happy again with some help.

buttteecuplad · 13/04/2023 07:23

@Weatherwax13
Do you know what a GP would suggest at all?
I am so avoidant of going to a doctor because I'm scared what they might or might not do and I'll be embarrassed.

OP posts:
Weatherwax13 · 13/04/2023 07:46

God, don't be embarrassed. It feels awful for you atm but I promise you these are really common issues. So many people have anxiety or depression.
The GP will probably ask you some questions and then discuss counselling and/or medication with you. Just make the phone call and get an appointment. And they won't "force" you to do anything btw so don't stress about that.

Eyesopenwideawake · 13/04/2023 08:36

What happened a year ago?

buttteecuplad · 13/04/2023 09:27

@Eyesopenwideawake we relocated !

I know the cause of my problems and it's driving me crazy bevause we can't just easily move back - we can't return to our old house because it sold and we can't just relocate back to the area due to the expense

I just feel so hopeless

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 13/04/2023 09:44

When it comes to dealing with loss (bereavement, the end of a relationship, the loss of our job or, in your case a failed house move) our mind can conclude that the thing we have lost was so integral to our idea of what happiness is that we can never be happy again.

This can lead to depression. Our mind perceives no possibility of future happiness so they stop trying. The weighing scales analogy is worth considering here.

When we want to weigh out ingredients to cook something we place a bowl on the scales and hit the zero button so that the weight of the bowl does not confuse our calculations. Then we add the ingredients and the numbers go up; were we to remove the bowl the scales would read a minus number. To continue weighing anything accurately we must hit the button to zero the scales once more, now the bowl isn’t there.

When we have a tragedy in our life we can be plunged into depression because our happiness levels now read a minus. Any attempt to improve our life would result in slightly less of a minus... but a minus all the same.

Depression is when we don’t see any way of getting back to zero. A person’s ability to move on from tragedy depends entirely on their ability to adapt to where they are now and to effectively ‘zero the scales’.

If we can accept where we are today (minus that loved one, or that relationship, or that house) then we can start to once again build on our happiness levels.

Human beings are in fact excellent at resetting the scales and adapting to new circumstances - we do it every time we improve our situation or circumstances but very quickly take that for granted.

buttteecuplad · 13/04/2023 16:57

@Eyesopenwideawake that is so helpful and I so appreciate you taking the time to write that.

This is the sort of stuff I need to fill my brain with !! I have so much to be thankful and grateful for and I find it SO utterly frustrating that my mind just focuses so much on what we have lost rather than what we 1. Still have and 2. Have gained . I have always been very level headed as a person and I feel like this move has suddenly turned me into someone I don't identify with and I really don't like that

Do you have any other nuggets of info that you could signpost me to that might help my situation !? I would be so appreciative!

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 13/04/2023 17:10

I think it would be good to try and identify exactly what it is you want to change about the way you are thinking/feeling. If you are able to, write down two sentences;

The pattern I have (e.g. I am unhappy about this house/area because...)

The pattern I want (e.g. I feel confident in my decision making/I am happy that I have new opportunities in this area)

Once you can break down the problem into specifics rather than generalities it becomes much easy to resolve.

buttteecuplad · 13/04/2023 21:04

@Eyesopenwideawake I will definitely give that a go ! Thank you :)

Do you have qualifications in mental health ? You seem very wise in your words :)

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 13/04/2023 21:28

No, no mental health qualifications; I'm a remedial hypnosis practitioner. Lots of info on my AMA.

buttteecuplad · 13/04/2023 21:38

@Eyesopenwideawake thanks so much I have checked it out and have dropped you a PM too :)

OP posts:
PiercingsAndTattoosRockChick · 13/04/2023 21:48

Please go see your GP! I know exactly where your coming from. I've been that woman and I took myself to the Dr's and I'm on antidepressants which have helped but I've also helped myself by changing my life for the better by taking the negatives from my life and having a more positive outlook. It took time but I vowed to make this year my year and to date I've achieved so much already. I still suffer from anxiety but it's more manageable. You will see a brighter future! Good luck🤞🍀

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