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Intrusive negative thoughts about my in-laws since I became a mum

1 reply

gonegirl3000 · 11/04/2023 11:53

I have had intrusive thoughts about my husband’s family ever since our son was born 18-months-old and I sometimes have nightmares about them. I have had to mute them all on social media and I get incredibly anxious when I know we have to see them. I know it sounds insane but it’s been going on for over a year and I don’t know what to do about it.

My husband and I have been together for just over a decade. He is not close with his parents and we have only ever seen them 2-4 times a year despite living close by. I’ve never felt I had much in common with them and didn’t think they were very good parents but I hardly ever thought about them until I became a Mum.

Since I had my son, I am overwhelmed with resentment towards them. They have not done anything serious to upset me but everything they do annoys me. Even when I haven’t seen them for months, negative thoughts about them can derail my day and become overwhelming.

I have tried talking to my husband about these thoughts but it hasn’t gone well. He either (understandably) takes my criticism of them personally or he says he doesn’t know how he can help - and I don’t know how he can either!

I have looked into therapy but it isn’t something I can afford at the moment.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
Phoenixrising2020 · 11/04/2023 12:10

I think in-laws are often first in line for this kind of thing so you have done really well to spot it. I think I would probably find someone else to discuss it with in the short term and maybe look into some sort of free counselling. It is massively common though, keep an eye on your energy levels too.. tiredness tends to aggravate this kind of thing.

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