Getting through this

[Stepbystep100]

Last year was a year from hell but the main important part was I had (or came close to) a breakdown in the Autumn. The doctor prescribed meds but they made me collapse, so I stopped. The stress from work and a narcissist boss was a changeable and I've now left. Other things like losing Mum suddenly, having Dad rely on me when things go wrong etc are not changeable so still exist, but I've bought the luxury of time as I don't have to work for a while.

I am still unable to sleep properly and have panic attacks. Ive just woken with one. Bad things continue to happen - a friend is just out of ICU, my brother is ill and I need to understand that this is life and I've changed what I can now I have to learn to adapt and recover as what's left is "life".

Any advice on how to continue to mend?

It sounds like you are comitted to taking care of yourself which is a wonderful first step. I dont have any advice but i wish you all the happiness x x

Just as your phone won't operate fully if you're on 2% battery, your mind and body will not function as well as it could without good quality sleep. Have a look at Tim Box's Youtube channel, he has several excellent videos on sleep issues.

What will ultimately help you is your own attitude; you have accepted that there are things in life you can't change so must deal with, or at least learn to live with - that's brilliant. If you were fighting or bemoaning your situation you would be in a much worse state of mind.

Remedial hypnosis (or mind coaching if you prefer) can help you with the panic attacks and sleep problems if they persist.

And remember, your record for getting through bad days currently stands at 100%.

Many thanks

I'm going to spend some time next week looking at these to try to reduce the symptoms I'm still getting over time.

I think I also need to fill my time with something like daily exercise. That's a whole new challenge because I don't feel like it (isnt that what everyone says?) but probably will be OK if I could summon up the enthusiam to actually do it.

Exercise is supposedly the best thing for a low mood but walking for the sake of it bores me rigid! Personally I much prefer getting stuck into a physical job (which I guess counts as exercise?) such as destroying a wall with a sledgehammer, or poo picking the horse fields or painting something big when it doesn't matter if it's not perfect.

What has been guaranteed to lift your mood in the past?

I've given this some thought and, to be honest, I think I'm unhappy because I'm not in control. I'm not exactly a control freak, but I like to be on top of things and I hate surprises!

So I think the root of my unhappiness now is that a lot of my life currently is out of my.control. I'm.aware of it but my head isn't dealing with it very well.

There's been a lot of nasty illness in my family and close friends recently- using ambulances/A and E and ICU. Some of which I've had to organise from.afar and some just scary and involving visiting and support of their wife. I'm pretty good at coping and staying calm during these situations but thereafter, it seems to come.back to haunt me as panic attacks or inability to sleep. Having lost Mum so quickly last year has left an indelable impression that it could happen again

So back to the question of what has made me happy in the past - a stable life without all these spanners. That's not going to happen so I guess I do need a new outlet and also to be very grateful I got to nearly 60 without such pressures.

We're the same age! Those "spanners" won't always be in your spokes but I understand that, like me, having had little 'drama' in your life to date means that now it's here it's unsettling and even scary. Did you have a look at those videos?

I haven't looked yet because my husband is off for Easter and the rest of this week I have quite a bit of spare time (bar any more crises).so I'll do it then.

I listened to one today that focused on future thoughts and sleep. Considering "Is the problem mine" ,"is the problem now". I think this could be very helpful

I also recognised, when he mentioned cortisol, a science teaching friend once warned me about my stressful work and the long term problems the effects of cortisol can have.

Sadly she died young, so I can't discuss with her - she'd be pleased that job is the one I've quit tho.

I'll listen to another tomorrow

I'm glad you found it helpful. There's also one on panic attacks which I think would be of use to you.

Will look at that today. I've woken again in a panic - this feels complex because its being triggered when I'm.asleep and waking me up.

This video may help you;

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Perfect

That's me - trying to deal with it when I wake.

My job (which I did for over 30 years).was extremely challenging and required me to think on my feet. I'd often answer unresolved problems in my sleep - that was at times very useful. I'd wake and note the answers down and use them in real life. I've even done it with solving equations before!

That's not needed now and probably in its own way hasn't been helpful as my mind has got so.used to being like this at times its now taken to deal with other stuff in the same way and so do I when I wake. I'm sure that cortisol is in.the mix too

The video is right on target - let's see how I get on now I've got more clarity on what's going on.

Thanks so much

@Stepbystep100 - you're very welcome 😊