Depressed by rudeness of colleagues

[rosyjosie]

Hi all,
In the last few weeks I've become really depressed by some of the rudeness and disrespect by colleagues, and strangely it seems to be in the last few weeks. Firstly, I find out that I haven't been invited to a long standing work drinks night out - this apparently started off in one team out of three - yet one colleague expected me to be there and asked if I was coming. As I was told last minute and had to work until 8 (whilst they were all in the pub) I couldn't do it. I emailed events organiser who apologised and said it was an 'absolute' oversight despite supervisors leaving with colleagues to go to the pub the same night and not saying anything about it. Then I have another colleague in a team meeting referring to me as 'she' - moaning about something I did in front of the whole team (I was sitting right beside him for three hours). And to cap it all off I get one male colleague telling me to 'speak to the manager' because I dared to ask (in a non-shouty manner) what happened as he co-manages workspace and takes double time for lunch. So he's not speaking to me. And - to cap it all off I have a supervisor who argues about my account of working in a separate building and dealing with a security alert - before he makes out that he's got his facts wrong (yet no apology for his attitude). What am I doing wrong and why are people treating me like crap when I turn up on time, dress smartly and take ownership for my work?

How long have you worked there?

Some people are just not very nice sadly and am sorry to read they have been like this

Well asking you to speak to the manager sounds completely reasonable if there's a disagreement between colleagues?

Not inviting you out is off but presumably it was an honest mistake?

And the person saying they got their facts wrong sounds like they admitted they made a mistake.

Maybe I've got the wrong end of the stick but it sounds like you might be reading stuff into these comments which are not intended to be rude or offensive?

Thanks for the messages :-) It just seems to come all at once. I understand that misunderstandings can arise due to tiredness. Also we all see each other more than our families. I need to get a new job. I am travelling 20 hours extra into work. I don't expect red carpet treatment at work, but can't believe the way people talk down to me at the moment.

Sometimes work environments are just crap, and it tends to be contiguous so the nastiness or negativity spreads

if it really affects you either give it back to the shit head that does it to you or perhaps look for something elsewhere? Would that be possible at all? Would you consider jt? I know it’s not easy leaving . What industry do you work in?
X

My job finishes up soon anyway in a couple of months. Please don't think I am anti-men - I like the majority of male colleagues but a couple of them are very chauvinistic and what I've encountered is a couple of occasions where they are happy to slap you down in public in front of colleagues or on a front desk but they can't handle it if you answer back if you dare to question them (without being abusive or non-threatening). There's so much whispering, gossiping, back-biting and throwing people under the bus. Next week I am going to adopt a different approach by distancing myself and adopting the art of not giving a . I tell myself I won't be in touch with anyone when I leave. I got upset in front of my manager who is okay with me but I am disappointed that I let them get the better of me. If I have anymore of being called 'she' in next week's meeting though I might tell him where to get off.

Hi Op
I think you are obviously under stress and it's easy to read into situations in a wrong way,
Misunderstand,

Of course there are shitty people around,

The night out thing sounds off, it could have been oversight ,

I would like to suggest Cassandra Mack on Youtube,website
She is really good insightful switched on how to deal with tricky arkward situations /people in a way that's empowering ,
She has a way about her, that makes you feel good better after listening to her,

Like a Human whisper
She is good at what she does

She reminds me of the Afro American Author Maya Angelou

I know why Caged Birds sing
Author

Famous book, its often read in high schools

Thank you very much for the recommendation. Much appreciated. I also feel a bit embarrassed as I got upset in front of my manager who doesn't know the half of it. He gave me a bit of 'time out' as my supervisor was rude to me and is constantly criticizing me or flat out ignoring me.It's all about adopting different techniques and approaches.

One of your colleagues told you about the drinks thing and asked whether you were coming. How is that not being invited? The organiser apologised for not telling you earlier.

The two people acting rude are just making themselves look bad.

I hear what you are saying. However she wasn't the one organising it, nobody verbally mentioned anything to me until I was late into my shift so couldn't arrange shift cover if I wanted to go. This happened to me at christmas time - again on my late shift- where people were insensitive enough to meet at the enquiry desk in front of my desk whilst I was the only one managing a building. So I feel that's crap.

I have an update from a colleague I get on with: he said that there's a problem with a couple of colleagues who resent my input in meetings. I was told that they do not like the fact that I am efficient which highlights there own failings (his words not mine). He also advised me to say silent in meetings, to go home and pick up the pay cheque. I said that I am not at work to satisfy the egos of those badmouthing me and that I will continue to raise work related issues in a team meeting. However it does account for the downright rude behaviour in the last week where a colleague was talking about me and used the word 'she' throughout the conversation (I was sitting next to him). I tell myself that I will be walking away from this job in 12 weeks so I neither seek anyone's approval or validation just because they are threatened.