Family health issues and isolation

[Thislife55555]

I wasn't sure how to title this, today it all got on top of me, I don't have anyone family wise close eight to talk to the one person I'd love to talk to us the person that is my husband whose been struggling with a bowel disorder, we're not sure his new meds will work and it's another blow, I feel like life's been so cruel to us. We both had issues with distant mothers growing up and no support at all from anyone, we've both worked
Our butts off to try and achieve a decent life at the envy it seems of our siblings who then cut us off when our daughter was born so she has no aunts or uncles or cousins which has been heartbreaking, that's another issue. We only eveee wanted to create a normal family life
For ourselves far from awful life we both had growing up but since we moved to our new home and had our baby our surrounding family have cut us off, my mum died shortly after DD was born so that was a lot to deal with on top
Of a 7 wk old baby who was also born at the beginning of the pandemic, spent my entire Mat leave stuck inside or on the estate which was very very challenging as I'd also had a terrible back to back birrh with 20 hr Labour resulting in forcep delivery and broken coccyx, then 6 mths later my poor husband became very unwell with a bowel disorder whjch he's still battling and was also made redundant on Mat leave!!! I feel like life's been so hard to us and today hubby is having issues on new meds so may need to trial
Another med and i jjst got so upset like for him and our poor daughter! Our families are so dissapointing and I feel such regret for bringing her in to this world now I know how it's turned out, I'm just so grateful I'm ok still atm for her and hope so much nothing happens to me! Sorry for the ramble I just needed to let that out and hope someone might read it and have
Any wise words of strength or Support as I'm feeling totally alone and overwhelmed x

How can so many things happen to us, my step dad who was my mothers partner is the only family we have that keeps in regular contact and he's lovely but he still has to work full time
At 58 so is way off retirement to help us and works shifts so we see him not all that often.

We thought we would be ok, neither of us saw him getting an IBD coming and it's taken months and months to even get this far as it's slow going to get on to new med when one fails.

We're all, the 3 of us i feel in a fragile position, i just never saw all of this coming and it's a lot to come to terms with. I really wanted another child but we had such bad sleep issues with our first we don't think we'd manage another as it'd
Be mostly on me to sort but I can't forget how utterly draining it was to be woken as often as we were for so so long! It's been unbelievable really our lives how it's all unfolded, like I feel like I'm living in a bad dream but I'm not, this is now
our lives

I now also am processing worries for my daughter being an only child which wouldn't have been so bad had she had cousins or other family here but she doesn't! We should have seen it all coming, we were so set on it all
Working out and having this vision of the life we wanted to create but we never saw all
These things that could happen along the way,
Had he not got I'll we'd have had another but it'd be too much on him now and then on me
With then 1 children to think about.

I feel like we're sad, lonely family, were not Insta
Perfect view of a normal life, we're just 2 lovely people truing to survive and we're struggling!

I have an only child, I’m single & I have no family close by!

I have my friends, I never turn an invite down, I make huge efforts to have kids here for play dates & I invite other mums out to places. Just in my friends group, I just counted 8 only children! Your child will be fine, she has her mummy, daddy & grandad (your step-dad) & a roof over her head.

Some families are crap so I wouldn’t dwell on that. Have a plan B,widen your friends circle.

Sorry it’s not great for you & your OH but I bet your DD is loved & happy. Don’t compare yourself to others either.

@StarDolphins Thank you! 🥹 somedays it jjsy all feels so overwhelmingly lonely. I do have lately a little group of friends that are building and I will just keep putting so much effort in to this. My friends as a child were my saviours and I would say I spent soem of the happiest days of my life wirh those people I met growing up that got me out of a very negative household.

Our daughter is a very happy, sociable child yes. I am though worried that we worked almost too hard as we chose to live in a new town away from our busier home town and although there are families here it's a bit less so, I feel like would she find it easier to be around more of a mix of different types of families, it is very much a 2.4 family unit kind of town here not showing a range of families which I feel I'd prefer as this helped me immensely growing up, people were very friendly, although it was deemed a rough area I managed to make copious amounts of friends as most kids had slightly disjointed families and friends meant a lot to eachother, I don't know if that makes sense what I'm trying to say but I'm just scared to death of her being isolated and lonely I think. There is tons of kids where we used to live but my OH is reluctant to move back as it is a place where soem people don't rave about and app want to move out of but I do think people miss the positives of it also...

Thank you for replying and talking it means a lot!

X x

@StarDolphins only children def do seem to be more common nowdays also which is a relief to people like me knowing it was deemed unsual some yrs ago, like not the norm, but back then people never have much thought as to why some people end up with just one whether I think there is more awareness of this now. Most of the people I know have 2 but there are a few of us also with just the 1 due to one reason or another.

Only children are so common! I had a sibling but she died at 37 so even having them doesn’t guarantee anything!

Sounds like you’re making positive roads in with friends in your local area. Honestly, it will be absolutely fine. The fact you’ve posted means you’re in top of it more than you think!

I know what you mean about her seeing a set type of family - is there no one at school that you could use as a reference (at our school there’s adopted kids/kids that live with grandparents/ones with Just Dad, just Mum etc).

My DD has no cousins or anything! I just latch on to my friends cousins! I send her to hol club, after school club, rainbows, dancing etc so she can build friendships.

You’re doing a great job!

I'm sorry that's awful! 😔

Atm she's still quite young, almost 4 so I'm yet to meet a lot of her new friends she'll be going to school with, all of the kids parents I've spoke to so far are all very much the same sort of type, so far anyway, I went to schools with a much broader mix of families.

We will just make more in roads with current and hopefully new prospective friends in the future and try to make more friends, thank you for listening and for replying, it helps a lot and thank you I'm trying my best! 💗 x x