Just need some advice and a bit of a rant
I’m 26 be 27 in 3 weeks from the age of 19 to 24 I was in a very toxic relationship he was controlling and mentally abusive that was a very hard time in my life I then finally found the strength to end the relationship and move although we do have a child together
not long after that I met a guy and got in a relationship with him after so long we ended up moving in together I thought I had finally found the one and I was in love with him he ended up cheating on me in the end and broke up with me , he broke my heart into peices and kept comming back and forth to me threw the breakup then he ended up cutting me off blocked me on everything then a month later was with another woman
I just feel like I never have any luck when it comes to relationships I either get treated bad , cheated on or left for someone else and I sometimes think is there something wrong with me why can I never just be good enough or be what someone wants ,my self esteem is really bad right now and I just constantly feel ugly and worthless , I’m not perfect but I can honestly say iv never treated a man bad all I ever Try to do is love them in the right way but I never get the same back
to make matters worse my most recent ex the one that cheated on me and caused me so much heart break is now in a relationship with another woman and they’ve been on holiday together and look so happy and I would never wish bad upon anyone but I just think he deosnt deserve to be happy after the way he’s treated me and what he’s done I’m the one sitting like a broken mess because of him while he gets to move on and be happy it’s not fair
i aslo suffer with my mental health and depression and just feel in a horrible rut right now and all I want is to just be happy and just feel like myself again but I’m just constantly tearing myself apart I also worry that I’m never going to find the “one” that I’m just always going to end up in short term failed relationships that I’m never going to find a man that will want a long term commitment with me and actually love and treat me in the way that I deserve
i aslo sometimes just really hate myself I sometimes hate being me I sometimes think it’s my fault I get treated this way
has anyone else ever felt this way