Hi mumsnetters,
I’m not sure where to start life seems a bit of a mess at the moment so I will try and be brief.
I gave birth to my much awaited second baby a few months ago. After my first I suffered significant complications and was assured it wouldn’t happen again. Fast forward to second baby I spent 6 weeks in hospital after bleeding out internally and developing sepsis. I know how very lucky I am to be here but I have nightmares revisiting what happened. We went to a birth reflection meeting but they said it was so complex they needed to refer us back to a consultant. My baby will be 9 months by the time it happens. I was desperately hoping for some closure. I referred myself to perinatal mental health as I thought it would be good to talk it through but am still on a waiting list and baby is nearly 6 months.
My waters broke on the day of my beloved Nana’s funeral and she is being laid to rest this week.. the guilt and sadness is overwhelming as I don’t feel I have grieved as I have constantly been back and forth to the hospital.
To top it all off my fiancé is having issues with money. I knew he had some credit card debt but after he overreacted with our toddler and I asked what on Earth is going on he finally came clean. Thousands of £.
I am due corrective surgery in the summer along with an appointment for my heart as it appears damaged from the sepsis. Along with the grief and caring for two small children (who are my entire world and I adore) this final piece of news has nearly tipped me over the edge as I need to get my health both emotional, physical and mental sorted so that I can move on and be the best mummy I can be but now I’m worrying about having to go back to work early and possibly having to take on a second job to get out of this mess. Family have helped him, he can’t even get a secured loan it’s so bad. Where do I go from here? Be kind please 🙏