Adhd - New Diagnosis - Adult Woman - Help!

[SlowlyLosingMyMind29]

Hello,

I've very recently been diagnosed with ADHD, which came as a really big surprise - it's never something I ever thought I may have, although I had also felt slightly out of place. I'm one of those people that is struggling a lot under the surface (with planning, organization etc.), but at the surface has everything sorted... I have managed to start a career in a high paced environment and have managed until my late 20s not knowing.

Things are however now starting to really make sense. I struggle so much with time management; having even 1 thing to do on a given day (eg. cleaning on a week-end) seem to take over my mind really. My "ideal" day ends up being a day with nothing on the plan (whether chores or fun things). I struggle to get anything done in evenings. I also start things and struggle to finish etc.

I was just wondering, has anyone else been diagnosed as an adult and found things got better for them? Do you have any tips to share? At my end, I have found things really hard since stepping outside of the structure of studying and am really hoping that this diagnosis will help me finally start to enjoy adult life...

Thanks!

Hi OP! I'm recently diagnosed as well (nearly 6 months now) but other than that I feel very different to you!

For starters the diagnosis didn't come as a surprise at all, I've known for the last 5 years since stumbling upon an article on the misdiagnosis of ADHD in girls and women, and I'm sorry that it took me so long to finally seek an official diagnosis (but that ADHD procrastination is a bitch!).

I also don't identify on the job front - you sound rather successful, whereas I've stuck to jobs that don't require much skill as I really struggle with meeting deadlines and the demands of a fast-paced environment. This has naturally affected my earning potential, so I live alone in a studio flat and have a fairly simple existence.

That being said, since my diagnosis I've gone so much easier on myself, and have come to terms with the fact that I haven't (and probably won't) meet the same life goals as my accomplished peers, and I've found happiness in that.

I'm happy being single and child-free, because I can barely get myself organised and motivated and keep the place tidy with just me living in it, so am grateful with having no one else to think about.

I've gone down the medication route, but it's a slow journey because I'm doing non-stimulants which take longer for effects to be felt, so I can't say yet what kind of effect they've had on me.

I watch a lot of TikTok that have ideas and tips on getting organised, can't say that I've tried them though 😂 but some days are better than others.

Dx at 39. Classic inattentive ADHD. Unmedicated.

> Diet, sleep, exercise and multivitamins are key.
> Find a system and stick to it. It takes a while but you really have to nail this down. It will be your bespoke system but there are lots of tips.

> Time management at work - I put everything in my outlook calendar and colour code it.
> Simplify routines - either 1 hour of cleaning first thing on the weekend or doing it on a Thursday night near the weekend so it is done. I've fallen into a natural pattern of Saturday being my fun day that I don't time plan (but do have things on) and Sunday is much more time structured.
> How to ADHD on You Tube.
> I would also say really listen to yourself, if you feel like having a no plan day, it's because you need one to destress so just embrace it. With ADHD we are constantly having to adapt and it's exhausting,

Well done on getting your diagnosis OP! What made you seek one & how did you go about it? I'm now fairly sure I'm in a similar boat....my son is under assessment and after years of thinking it came from his dad the realisation has dawned on me that it's more likely to be me....sorry I have no suggestions. I'm currently studying and I feel like it takes me SO LONG to 'get into' a piece of coursework compared to my classmates. What I would say to you is you need to be COMPLETELY ruthless with distractions-eg phone.

I have recently been diagnosed, and possibly borderline autistic (but not diagnosed) and when I look at family, friends and their partners I think that most people with a diagnosis has a partner and friends with some traits - we are unknowingly attracted to similar people. Just my view.

Slowly, there's a good thread in AIBU called 'Adult ADHD' by Lollypop-really good suggestions you might like.

Thanks for all the responses everyone!

@despondentatwork: it came a bit out of the blue, I was referred to a psychiatrist at work due to some issues (anxiety related) and it turns out that the anxiety comes from ADHD. It's making sense now but I really was not expecting that......

I have made a note of all the tips, thank you!