Leaving Do for colleague..anxiety

[LouisaPickles]

Still working from home a colleague is retiring. She’s having a leaving do at a Bistro in our local town and I’m invited. I wasn’t particularly close to her but she’s a nice person and I’ve put into the leaving do fund. I struggle with anxiety and I’m not one for night outs with work as it is, so have politely declined the evening do.

Another colleague said she’ll be going as she worked with her, and it’s only right to go.

Am I being unreasonable for not saying why I’m not going? Do I need to say why? What do other people do in this situation?

I’m feeling like I’m being made to feel rude without providing a reason why I’m not going…

I always think it depends on the reason you don't want to go to something. If you don't like the person then don't go, if it's an event you wouldn't enjoy and want to spend money on then don't go, ie I wouldn't enjoy going to a spa day so if someone asked me if I wanted to do that I would decline, or wine tasting.

Reading your post it looks as though anxiety is stopping you from going and enjoying yourself. You need to look at what is actually making you feel anxious about going to this event and why it is making you feel anxious. Be honest with yourself and then rather than being reactive be proactive. What could you do to make yourself feel happier about going. Is it a meal or just drinks? It would seem a shame to miss out on what could be an enjoyable evening because of anxiety.

Hi @LouisaPickles only give an excuse if asked. If you are asked why you're not going then just say you have other plans.
I totally hear you, not wanting to go x

It’s not my thing and I don’t know her that well. I think if asked it makes sense to say I’m otherwise busy. Thanks @Summer2424