Feeling Overwhelmed

[Hueandcry]

Does anyone have any tips for getting over this. I am so overwhelmed I have no idea where to begin. I have such a backlog of stuff to deal with plus other things I can't keep on top of like housework, laundry, dishes. Twice this past week I've been told I need to look after myself better. I know this but I just can't do it. I live alone so I can get away with it but this constant feeling isn't good for me. Other than walking the dog which obviously needs doing I can't seem to get anything done.

Break it down into small tasks. Housework can wait. If you have enough clothes laundry can wait as well. Concentrate on the dishes first - that will give you a boost. Even if it just means filling the sink with hot soapy water and leaving everything to soak for an hour - it's a start. Once they are washed, dried and put away give all the work surfaces a wipe down.

Don't worry about the "right" cleaner - a squirt of Fairy Liquid and hot water will pretty much clean anything. Once the dishes and kitchen surfaces are done have a rest and congratulate yourself.

If you like watching TV (as I do) this is a good trick - as soon as there's a commercial break do a small job; grab a cloth and clean the bathroom sink or grab all the dirty clothes and stack them next to the washes or take the dog bed outside and give it a good shake - you'll be amazed at what you can do in three minutes!

I am a lone parent and have a messy house, in my opinion the two go hand in hand, l turn a blind eye and my mental health is good.
When my teenagers move out and l work less hours l am sure the house will be tidier, until then it is what it is, worse things happen in life.
I still love my house,.messy or not.
When a house is pristine , not a thing out of place it feels lifeless.

It's not so much the house it's just everything. Logging in to do various things, forgetting passwords or log in details. Going round in circles & spending ages just to complete one thing. Anyway I have got up today & cleaned the kitchen & washed the dishes. It does make me feel better when my surroundings are organised even if I'm not. I put off going shopping & once I get there I feel so overwhelmed by everything, the choice, the cost, I end up buying cereal, milk & bread & live off that. I'm a good cook but I feel it's pointless cooking for just myself. Maybe I'm depressed I don't know. Basic tasks just feel too much. It's helping me to write this down even if nobody reads it.

I feel you. Celebrate every win, I'm very proud of cleaning out my fridge! (the radioactive sludge was quite disturbing). Take one thing at a time and try not to get discouraged.

Well done on the kitchen. It does sound like you're depressed; the feeling of overwhelm and inability to decide are signs. Can you remember when and why these feelings started? When did you give up being a good cook?

Last year when my youngest left home. Having spent years as a single parent wishing I had more time I now have too much time on my own. Its lonely.

I never had children but I can empathise with the loneliness - I spent many a weekend not speaking to anyone from Friday evening to Monday morning 😟

Your dog could be instrumental in helping you out of this rut. Do you regularly see other dog walkers? I used to walk mine and often noticed another woman with her dog; we became friends, not close but enough to be happy to go for a coffee after a long walk. I know it's a cliche (probably because it's true!) but volunteering at your local kennels or taking cookery classes to get you back into the habit of being around other people are both options. Or maybe consider a lodger? With the right one your house could feel like a home again.

Sounds like your lack of self care and disorganisation is a symptom of your mental health It’s worth speaking to your GP and looking for activity groups to join.

In terms of cooking, my single friend gets gusto for 2 meals 3 days of the week and eats the left over the next day.

I read somewhere a while ago that making your bed each day is important so at least you have a clean, safe space at the end of the day no matter how bad the day has been. I've been moving a pile of clothes that need washed, mended, thrown out from my bed to the floor and back for weeks so I've just sorted the whole pile out. This means the washing basket is overflowing & it's snowing outside but at least they are off my bed. Not sure if gusto deliver where I am but I will check this out. Will also look into other options so I'm not spending my weekends alone as this is the worst time for me.

Hi op. Are you working during the week - does this impact things so stuff gets shifted to the weekends to sort?

Yes I work full time so between that & walking tge dog I don't have a lot of time during the week. I've checked & Gusto & the like don't deliver here 😪

Supermarkets overwhelm me so I only do online food orders now. When I enter a supermarket my brain almost shuts down and I end up staring at rows of different types of bread and get paralysed with indecision. Could you get regular food delivery OP? Maybe some ready meals that you like and then add a pile of broccoli or peas alongside so that you're getting a bit of veg?