Desperately seeking advice

[Whitegrenache]

DP had a nervous breakdown about 4 weeks
Ago totally out of the blue and out of
Character as he has never suffered any mental health issues

He got help and has been prescribed citalapram and his low
Mood seemed to be getting better slowly but surely. His physical symptoms of anxiety however didn't improve so his GP have him beta blockers

His main issue is insomnia and Monday morning he told
Me had a really bad night and had written a suicide note, but totally regretted it and could never leave me and DC

However this morning he admitted that in the middle of the night last night he put a rope up in one of our outbuildings, made a noose and stood on a ladder

He changed his mind as he felt he could never leave me and the kids and that he felt not being able to sleep for weeks one end was the trigger. And he never feels Suicidal any other time

Well I was so shocked we rang the crisis helpline of our local NHS who recommended an ambulance which DP refused but we spoke to a Mental health nurse who recommended his doctor prescribed him sleeping tablets which we have collected

I then had to help him take
Down the homemade noose which was hand down one of the most difficult things o have ever done. DP found this so stressful he was vomiting and I was extremely distressed.

I have no idea why I am writing this or what am Asking help in.

I feel weirdly calm and not sure where to go from here

Anyone please any experience of this and able to offer me any advice

Shit I have added in email
By accident- I have reported

Christ OP. You poor thing.
Your poor DH also.

Thanks MN for acting so quickly and removing my email

I'm so sorry I don't really have any experience but I couldn't not reply.

I really hope he gets decent help. In the meantime could you lock him in(!) the house at night...

Go back to the gp? You / he needs more support by the sounds of things.

No email seen here

Sending strength OP, take one day at a time, baby steps x

DP had a nervous breakdown about 4 weeks
Ago totally out of the blue and out of character as he has never suffered any mental health issues

Personally, I am very dubious that the GP just immediately put him on citalapram and beta blockers. This coming out of the blue warrants much more thorough investigation. Can you get him to a neurologist?

MN HQ are amazing and removed my email
Immediately

The GP is never an expert. Their 1st and most immediate way of trying to help is medication and/or talk therapies. Good therapy is very hard and slow to come by on the NHS. If you can afford to pay for a phsychologist, ask the GP for a private referral. If not encourage your partner to look at online chat forums like MIND and others. It is an incredibly frightening place to be. The world never looks quite the same after a crisis like that. Thank goodness he realised in time and that he has your love and support. Xxx

He is having counselling too

Anyone else have any words? He is still asleep this morning so I am hoping he got a better nights sleep

Lack of sleeping a form of torture and I have suffered this for over 25years. It doesn't help that GP's are so reluctant to give out sleeping tablets and (diazepam for me for the accompanying panic of no sleep the night before). It took me years to get referred to a sleep clinic (which I discovered existed myself, not offered by my GP, who put me on pregabalin, which is a very expensive drug and still not as effective as Zopiclone/diazepam for me personally. I've been on many SSRI/SRNI but none have been spectacularly efficient for sleep/anxiety. Mirtazapine probably the best but nobody seems to avoid the side effect of extreme hunger and weight gain that this drug brings. I have had to change my whole working life to fit round my inability to function at times. Sleeping in separate rooms and going to bed to read for a good two hours before sleep/listening to podcasts a huge help and also listening to podcasts during the night if I woke up enormously comforting. As a last resort a large glass of red wine helps knock me out but two glasses and I'm awake, dehydrated and often don't get the correct quota of deep sleep which is the restorative sleep you need to function. Alcohol in general is a very bad idea as it may get you to sleep, but not enable you to stay asleep. GP's are not great at understanding sleep and if you can afford it I'd pay for a Psychiatrist privately. It CAN get better. Sending huge hugs.

I absolutely agree with the post above. I suffer with the same problem and have been through all the same issues with medication including a 4 stone weight gain from Mirtazapine. I struggle to get to sleep but Phenerghan bought otc can help to keep me asleep as long as I don't use it every night. Amitryptiline is also a bit helpful. Sleep issues are very tricky to sort and I will try to find out about sleep clinics too. Keep us posted OP. Xxxx

Did anyone suffering similar issues with sleep consider suicide?

I know it probably doesn’t sound like it should help much - but going out for a walk in nature for more than an hour does wonders for me when I’m feeling suicidal. I have to force myself to get up out the house, but it does help. And I sleep better that night too. I’m sorry you and him are going through this, breakdowns are horrendous. Pease try and get some support from friends and family (if I knew my friend was going through something like this I would 100% want her to let me know so I could help).

Yes. I agree. Nature is so soothing. Take the time to stop and stare.

@Suburbanqueen I also had occasional success with Phenergen. Again not offered by my zillions of visits to the GP over the years - found one chemist I could get it from. Sorry you suffer from this gross affliction too.

In answer to your question about suicide OP, I can hand on heart say I've been driven that mad by lack of sleep and have felt so, utterly ill by it, I've often wished I was dead. I doubt I would have acted upon it but yes, had that feeling many, many, times and still get it occasionally. It's such a life limiting 'condition' too as without sleeping tablets I would not go on holiday or stay at someone else's home. With insomnia, I see stars, my head/eyes ache, I feel like I'm having a heart attack with the 'post zero sleep' anxiety palpitations, legs go to jelly, feel sick, I shake, can't think straight, and lastly the joy this years later is of having very little memory of the last 20 years. Sorry if that's depressing but I'm trying to keep it real and be honest. I guess have learned to self manage it these days (my old Fitbit showed me the deep sleep I was lacking so cut out the evening wine habit and the deep sleep improved) Also I absolutely HAVE to sleep alone in my own room - I'm simply too disruptive to be around anyone else. I also get very anxious thinking I'm disturbing them. I so hope your hubby can get some help soon 💐

My DH was like this last year. Also out of the blue. We are not in the Uk so the healthcare is different .
He couldn’t sleep and entertained thoughts of suicide but didn’t actually do it.
Is the therapy with a psychologist? If the therapist cannot prescribe medication I highly recommend that you find a psychiatrist privately.
I hope be can get to the bottom of why he is suffering. For my DH is went back to his childhood which was verging on abusive. It drove him to perfectionism and struggling to deal with work and issues that suddenly appeared in his life.
Also please try and look after yourself it is an extremely stressful thing to go through. I had some therapy sessions myself and it was helpful.
It is a good sign that DH went to you for help. Keep reassuring him of your love and support. Small walks and time outside helped my DH. Even just a walk in the garden - just to be in nature. And lots of rest. Even now if he is stressed he will sleep more - even though he is better.

Thanks all
He has been prescribed phenegarn an seems to be sleeping better.
Says he feels
Better

Good to hear. Thanks for the update.

My DH went through this a year ago.
Triggered by new job and an horrendous team he had to manage.
He was sleeping two or three hours a night
Also said he put a belt round his neck on a couple of occasions.
Thank goodness he decided he couldn't do it to me and the DC.

He went on Mirtazipine (probs spelt wrong, sorry)
I managed to get him to have a phone appointment with the doc
He was signed off work for six weeks which ended up being extended. He handed in his notice and never went back.

A year ok he is tapering to come off the Mirtazipine although there are still major stressors in his life (family member stage 4 cancer, horrendous situation with house renovation). I am wary of his coming off but he seems determined.

I'm sharing his story so hopefully you can see others have been through it. It's so so hard being the one holding everything together. I developed anxiety as a result (and due to the other stressors) so I have now been prescribed beta blockers and sertraline which are helping

No 1 thing is to find the source of the trigger and to try and chance things there. Glad he is getting counselling l.