Can never settle in a job - neurodivergent/mental health issues

[Greenfairydust]

I have a history of trauma & mental health issues and I struggle with social interaction/relationships.

For years I have had the same issues over and over now with work: I start a job, things go OK for a few months to a year, then I lose motivation and start not being able to cope with people, meetings and the mind-numbing constraints of office work and my brain just shuts off. I also start dreading the days when I need to travel to work (I work mostly from home) because I find public transport makes me agitated and being stuck in an office has also become really difficult and draining.

I receive PIP and already work part-time only because this is all I can cope with.

Stopping work is not an option for financial reason so I really need to get myself out of this endless cycle.

I think I have reached pretty much the end of the road in term of trying to 'fake it' in office-type work.

I really need to find something that doesn't go so much agains my nature.

Any advice on the type of jobs that someone on the spectrum/with my issues might be able to do well in?

I was thinking of trying to be self-employed in some way or to find a role that would involve less need for communication/social contact but I don't know where to start...

Would you potentially be in a position to retrain in something you have a natural interest in?

This sums up so much of what I struggle with. Following for suggestions- it’s been 9 months in my current role and feel like my brain is itching.

Hi OP. We sound like we have some similarities! I have (recently discovered) ADHD and I can see now why I’ve never been able to stand staying at a job for any decent length of time.

You don’t say what you have been doing for work? If you could share that, and your skill set / interests then the Mumsnet hive mind might have some suggestions.

I think the first step is being comfortable with who you are. Are you trying to be someone you’re not in the first few months, ie really sociable/outgoing and forcing yourself into situations? Then the facade fades a few months later and the “real”
you comes out and you can’t maintain the persona?

sometimes you just need to be honest and your authentic self. So that when you have those “off” days, no one thinks it’s a drastic change in your personality as they already accept you for who you are. If you’re not a social butterfly, it’s okay.

I should have said I work in marketing for a charity at the moment.

I am fine with the side that needs me to update websites/social media and do graphic design or copywriting (so the creative and technical elements) but it is the interact with people that I simply dislike.

I really struggle as well with the constant changing priorities and lack or organisation/planning which is always an issue when working with charities.

I tried to do things like managing services/projects for people with disabilities/mental health issues as I am good at planning/organisation but I wasn't helping them... Because their issues just made mine worse, if that makes sense and I could relate to them either.

I am just not a ''people person'' and I hate verbal communication.

@Plusnett I usually don't get involved in social stuff at work (lunches, drinks). That often caused issues in previous roles where people commented I was ''closed up'' but now I make it clear from the start I don't join in. Nor do I want to talk about my holiday/the weekend and that is something I have no interest in hearing from other people.

I probably sound awful as a person but this is how I am.

I think I drifted into office-based work and worked for charities because I thought the environment might be a bit more inclusive but I just don't seem to fit in anywhere.

I'm EXACTLY the same OP. I am following for ideas....

The one thing I really like is art/craft and I am good with animals.

And I'm neurodivergent!

I think there are offices that aren’t super unorganised but unfortunately last minute things/changing priorities will crop up everywhere you go. Some employers just handle it better.

I definitely think you should stay away from roles where you’re interacting with people who have health conditions. it can be triggering

God yes. This in spades. But also WFH is incredibly hard and motivation wanes and it can be even worse with no external structure

Are you me? I'm currently in the throes of the 'one year itch' and long every day to pack my job in. Problem is, I know the next one will likely be the same....

You might find a suitable role in the civil service OP, it's worth having a look to see if anything takes your fancy. Obviously some are frontline, talking to lots of people etc, but a lot of roles are not, and there is generally a lot of flexibility and understanding around WFH, part time etc.

I've considered going self employed doing dog walking or similar but I've ADHD as well as ASD and I couldn't handle the admin/organisation side.

Another ND person here, waving in solidarity! I could have wrote your post. I can't seem to get past the one year point without falling into total despair.

I do a little admin job working from home at the moment which helps.

Thanks everyone for all the replies.

I think the only reason I just about manage in my current role is the fact that I can work from home the majority of the time.

@namechange3394 that's something I was thinking about looking into (The Civil Service). I will definitely look at what opportunities they have a the moment.