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Trio friendship...

6 replies

LovelyIssues · 23/03/2023 16:19

A strange one I think but possibly more common than I think?

So long story short I am in a trio of friends. We meet weekly, talk daily, very very good friends. Me & one other are closer with each other, we are just more sociable and our DC are very close. The one I am closer with let's call her "Sally" acts different whilst on our group chat compared to when it's just me and her talking.

For example me and Sally will have planned to meet for dinner, she'd arranged it and us talking back and fourth about what she's cooking etc all very happy but at the same time on our group chat will say she's "so done with today". She acts mopey on the group, to the point the other friend is concerned she has depression. It's so odd as when she texts me and sees me she's completely normal, happy as larry. I haven't outright asked why she does this but did pull her up about it over a Christmas party as she was making out on the group chat she wasn't feeling well and might not make the party. But her son was back and fourth messaging me saying she's fine, they were visiting a family member and were definitely coming.

It is really odd! Can someone help me make sense of it please? 🤔

OP posts:
Lovelyveg80 · 23/03/2023 16:32

* I haven't outright asked why she does this but did pull her up about it over a Christmas party as she was making out on the group chat she wasn't feeling well and might not make the party. But her son was back and fourth messaging me saying she's fine, they were visiting a family member and were definitely coming.*

you haven’t spoken with her but decided to “pull her up on it” at Christmas? 😐

not the way I would choose to engage with a very close friend.

Lovelyveg80 · 23/03/2023 16:33

And what did she say?

Lovelyveg80 · 23/03/2023 16:34

Seems to me like she doesn’t feel as though she can be open with you on a one to one level about her feelings and state of mind

Lovelyveg80 · 23/03/2023 16:36

Just seen you have posted this all over mumsnet!

LovelyIssues · 09/04/2023 22:20

@Lovelyveg80 posted this all over Mumsnet?

She didn't say much, just shrugged if off and kind of laugh. She's closer to me than the other friend, and more honest with me. So I'd be surprised if she feels less comfortable

OP posts:
Goodread1 · 09/04/2023 22:35

Hi
It could be for a number of reasons,

Like a ubove poster said maybe she has to keep up the pretence she is having a OK time,
When she in reality feels a exhausted/like shit ect

She likes to be centre of Attention, so she exaggeration how she feels to garner a bit/somewhat Attention for whatever reasons

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