What the hell is wrong with me?

[Feelsadallthetime]

I'm 46 and since last Monday literally I've felt tearful, very low mood, decided I hate my job and want to pack it in (which affects everyone in the household not just me as it's a family business that I'm in charge of). I'm finding what used to be simple tasks quite overwhelming and if I can't do it straight away I'm screaming and crying over it. I'm an emotional wreck.. I feel like my whole world has turned upside down and yet there's no reason for it. Last night i was so angry I slashed my arm with a razor and really wanted to leave the house and do worse. Instead I sobbed in bed for hours. I'm just not me anymore and I don't know what the fuck is happening.

Gosh, sounds really hard. Could this be hormone based?
I would speak to a doctor asap if your mood doesn't improve within a few days, especially if you are acting in an irrational way.
Hugs to you (as it sounds like you need them).

I'm so sorry.

This could be lots of things but given your age and having done a menopause awareness course last week, it's ticking loads of boxes for potentially being linked to that.

Get to a gp asap and don't be fobbed off.

Oh dear god 😞 sounds like the menopause indeed. Poor you. Please get to your doctor and, as the previous commenter said, don't be fobbed off.

Good luck xxx

Peri menopause had me just right about where you are now. Its a real shock to the system OP, comes without warning and is bloody awful. Hang on in there and book an appointment with your GP, Have a google peri menopause and it might help you see

My DP had this about 3 weeks ago - he basically had what we would call
An old
Fashioned nervous breakdown.

We got counselling through my work, his GP has put him on anti depressants and beta blockers and 3 weeks later he is starting to make slow progress.

Like you he was sobbing had suicidal thoughts, couldn't eat or sleep and was shaking. Also wanted to completely change his profession and wanted to sell
The house and even accused me of
Having an affair!!

His trigger has me stepping up to a new job requiring me to work
Away from home so we currently navigating all that

Menopause?

And he also has never had any mental health problems previously

Agree it could be menopause but this has presented very acutely (quickly) please do see a GP tomorrow or even through 111 today

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

Peri-menopause. You have classic symptoms.

Thank you all (including Mnhq) unfortunately today has just got worse. I had a really stressful morning sorting out some essential household admin that couldn't be put off. I was on the phone for over 2 hours which really stressed me out. We were supposed to go for a family lunch for mother's day and I just couldn't. I snapped at my kids, made them shout at me then went off on my own. I just literally sat on the floor down this quiet path next to the river for nearly 3 hours. It felt like my head was caving in. I wanted to get up and walk away but i physically couldnt. I just sat there thoughts racing round and round. If im totally honest i felt like walking into the river but was too scared. Pathetic i know.I'm home now but feeling really drained and emotional. I'm going to phone gp next week.

If you can, go to a private peri-menopause/menopause clinic. It is 100% worth it.

To add, I really hope you know that you are not alone in how you're feeling. My Peri started when I was 40. I started having extreme anxiety and panic attacks that I had never had before. It all started like a bolt from the sky and I was honestly terrified. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown, and I couldn't understand why it was all happening. Thankfully, I figured out after a few months that it was Peri and got started on HRT. It saved me.