Feel so alone.

[Genericusers]

I'm a mother of two kids. I'm married.
My husband is virtually my only friend.
Nobody ever likes me. I know that sounds dramatic, but it's how I feel.
I had friends in school, but I had my first child at 19 and they all dropped off the radar.

I work and get along with my co workers, but they all meet up and stuff and never invite me. They've known each other longer I guess.
My oldest DC Is in year 5 and I've yet to make any real friends with school parents. Not through lack of trying. They all meet up, post pics on facebook of them having a good time etc. I am never invited even though some chat with me on the playground.

I feel like it's because I'm naturally quiet and introverted but I do try to make small talk and smile. I'm also one of the younger mothers and look like a child myself so people don't take me seriously.

I don't really have any hobbies. I'm depressed,anxious and on medication. I don't drive and neither does DH (Learning but I'm crap and doubt I'll ever be ready) so can't really get anywhere to do anything as buses are shit around here & can't afford taxis.

I feel like I'm letting my DC down..they are often not invited to parties and things and I wonder if it's because the parents don't like me, as they often meet up together with the kids (including kids that my DC are friends with in school)

I just feel so bleak about the future. I've always felt different to other people and I don't know why. I just want to feel like people care about me.

I guess I'm just hoping I'm not alone.

The half terms are the worst..it really hits me how alone I am and I feel like a shit mother. No playdates to take my kids to or to meet up with friends kids. It all seems so effortless for other people.

I found that a lot of friendship groups among school mums we're actually made at baby and toddler groups. All my mum friends are from DDS toddler good I really notice it because when D's was born my father was very ill so my focus was there and D's hated socialising. I have barely any friends I that group. If there's still time for that I would focus there.

Perhaps you have a tough time because you had your children young so you're a bit out of step with your age peers and other mums as people tend to have children later. If you are a bit out of step agewise, you might need to communicate more than others because you won't have that shared experience. People won't quite know who' you are.

I'm much older than you, but I now realise the sheer amount of time I put into making friends in my twenties. Long weekends, all nighters. I simply don't have the time for it any more and consequently make far fewer new friends now.

You say you're quiet. I think that can be fine but you might think a bit about how to get other people to talk about themselves. I have a friend who's great at opening people up because she asks them a lot about the things they're saying and makes lots of encouraging noises. For example, if someone's saying they had a crap weekend, shell not say 'oh dear. I'm sorry.' She'll say, 'really what happened?' etc worth a try.

I don't think you're at all unique in your experience. It's hard.

Sorry you are feeling alone Genericusers. Please don't blame yourself or think you're a bad mother if your child isn't invited to parties. This is what I used to do. If you are a loving caring mother, which you sound, then that is the main thing. I don't know if times are different these days but when I was young I would never for one moment have relied on my mother for my friendships. I am saying this as a positive thing, not everything in your child's life is your job to sort out so try not the feel the burden of responsibility for everything. I do understand though as I always felt this but as mine got older I realised that they are independent beings.
Also, it's been said before but FB is just a few snap shots of the best life people want you to see and if it upsets you try not to check it out.
I know you say you don't have any hobbies but having something would be good to focus on and feel more positive about. Is it worth trying to rekindle something you used to enjoy or find something totally new?
Meanwhile, sending a hug, people do care on here, even if it's remote.