Who do you call when you're really down?

[thatswhatfriendsare]

I just wondered who you call? I don't have anyone - except maybe my ex - he is a pretty good listener but he never calls me for a chat for example so I figure I need to wean myself off calling him and get a life. I have loads of contacts in my phone, I have friends I do things with but not one person I feel I could call when I'm down. Is this a me problem or is anyone else the same?

I have no one to call but I post here when I'm really low, people are great on this board.

My brother or my husband are both good bets. I also have a few mates who I'd ring or get together with for a distracting chat about something else. That's pretty lucky I think.

That's true Emma and it's good to know. I just got let down twice today (once by a close relative) and secondly by 2 friends this evening who "forgot/were too busy" for our arranged zoom. They are good friends and want to re-arrange but I just feel rubbish now because I really needed to chat plus I just wouldn't let anyone down at the last minute either😥.

I tend to post here too. At a push I can speak to my mum but I really don't like burdening people with my problems. I pretty much keep things to myself!

that's great x

Sorry to hear that.
I've really struggled with "no friends left" lately but I'm getting used to it and there's some great folks on this board.

i think an advantage of the board is you can drop by and you're not disturbing anyone. But I totally relate to feeling let down etc.

I'm moving on though, it's all good.

I have friends but I struggle to phone them when I’m down. It’s not so much that I couldn’t call someone but I tend to close myself off. I don’t know why. Sorry you were let down and I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks both xx I'll be ok - I know they would be upset if they knew I was upset. It just gets to you sometimes and I'd been looking forward to it all week but it hadn't really registered with them - probably because they have partners and larger families and I'm currently on my own.

Ghostbusters!!!!

sorry, couldn't help myself!

im not one 'to call' if I feel generally low I'll just have a nice coffee, go for a walk, chat in here, watch some crap on TV....

IF I have something in particular I need to talk about I'll choose the friend with the best fit!

😂

As pp have said, it's ok having people you can talk to, but I often don't go to them because I don't want to worry them / they have their own issues. Or, often its because I don't want to show my vulnerabilities, or weaknesses. Probably silly really.

Me too emmylousings - I don't want to show my real insecurities either - it probably means we did once and were dismissed and/or rejected in our lives. I actually never really know what to say if people ask me how I am if I am not feeling ok (I mean friends not just people passing by😂)

It's hard when you see them as a priority and they don't, I hear you.

Thanks Emma. That's what it was - I set aside the time, was really looking forward to it - one had forgotten and the other had to get their kids stuff ready for school - but they had all weekend (don't work) and this was only going to be 1 hr or so out of their day. It just wasn't a priority to them. I've not replied to either of them since they posted, they haven't reached out to me either and it is 1 day later.

I am so feeling this right now
I almost don't want to say it because I feel like posters are bored by now!

I am moving and I am really hoping to make new friends. I don't think I want to put people on my priority list when I'm not on theirs, and it's been a shock to find myself not on some of them.

Hi Emma
It's not boring and I'm listening. I hope the move goes well and you find some new friends who treat you well. Have you tried Meet Ups - great way of getting to know people in your area.

Hey Emma here for you. We all are though we can all spark on threads. It's good to be a mumsnetter xxx

Op my Dds. They tell me I am daft and problem solved.

Thank you both, I appreciate that 😍