Not entirely sure where to start....basically was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder in 2014, put on Citalopram for that and Propanolol as I also get palpitations (I've since had an ECG and turns out I have a flappy mitral valve - I forget the proper name for it) but the woman doing the scan said not to worry unless I start getting breathless without having done physical activity).
I've never really taken my medication...they give me 6 weeks worth then want me back for a review but can never bring myself to phone the GP to make a new appointment (my surgery are rubbish anyway and my actual GP once told me that there was nothing wrong with me as I was 'lucid' at the time I saw her, and to "just stop doing it" when I was telling her about my impulsive behaviour that I was struggling to control.
Anyways. I haven't taken any meds since before Covid.
My mood changes really quickly. I can go from fine, to angry (snapping at my children for the slightest thing type of angry), then that can sometimes build and build until I need to be away from everyone and I can't shake feeling annoyed. For ages. The rest of the day I struggle to get it under control but the next day I'm fine.
When I say fine, I'm never 'happy' or content, I seem to just flick from numb, to almost crazy elation and being really bright and bubbly for half an hour or so, then angry. It's so hard to explain, which is why I've never really pursued any other diagnosis.
For about the last couple of hours I've been in a really heightened state of anxiety which came out of nowhere; I just suddenly felt like I needed to get out of the house, but I can't because I never go anywhere so to just go out now would seem strange to my partner I imagine, I've had pretty much constant palpitations, feel a bit lightheaded (like if I turn my head, it feels like my eyes take a couple of seconds to focus) and I just felt like I couldn't settle - kept getting up, sitting down then getting back up again...at the same time, there was housework that needed doing but just couldn't get the motivation to do any of it so I ended up feeling like I wanted to cry.
I've only had this feeling a few times, maybe once every few months it happens but day to day my moods are so changeable.
Does anyone have any clue whether this is all just a symptom of my anxiety or more, and where do I start to get it sorted? I wouldnt even know how to start explaining to my GP, there's so much I've missed out just typing this here.
My memory is also terrible, I get decision paralysis, don't go out of the house but desperately want to just be able to go for a mooch round the shops or for a coffee or whatever...but get so anxious going out of the house (even inside, if my neighbour walks past the window I hide).
I'm going to stop typing now, bu any insight or advice would be appreciated.