Anyone ever felt like they need to start a whole new life???

[googler]

I'm wondering if it's just me, or if there are others out there who feel as I do. There are so many reasons why I should be happy with my life, but lately I can't help but feel like I need to begin a whole new life.

I have a good career in teaching, have had some good relationships and partners in the past, none worked out to have a family with, sadly. 4 years ago, I decided I wanted to adopt on my own and knew with London prices there was no way I would be able to afford a 2 bedroom with garden in a nice area, so I thought I'd move to the sticks. Originally I started with a 1.5 hr commute each way (minimum) and eventually changed jobs and moved closer to my new job. This means I'm about 3 hrs from my old friends.
Over the last 3 years several of my good friends have emmigrated to USA, Canada and NZ. I've been stuck with a bully for a boss and very backward practice, compared to where we were in London 4 years ago. I made an effort to make friends, but I've found it very very hard. Before the move, I would say I made friends everywhere I went, now, I wouldn't say that's true.
I started a UK adoption 2 years ago, after a LONG process and matching, sadly at the last minute a SW decided on another avenue for the child. I decided to wait another year before I begin again as it was too heartbreaking. At that time my parents thought it would be helpful to move to where I live now, and they are totally smothering me and toxic!
So, here I am, in an area I don't like, with friends who really honestly I don't feel comfortable with (very judgemental), in a job that has taken me back 10 years, at least to when I first qualified, my parents are driving me mad and I feel like I need to start my life again, if I can find the energy I'd like to move, sell my little house I spend 3 years slowly doing up, get a new job and make a whole new group of friends.
Has anyone ever felt like this?
I know that life is never perfect, but has anyone ever made lots of changes and it worked out well??
Sorry this is so long, just would love to know there are others out there who have been through this!

I haven't been through it but feeling for you. Why not consider abroad yourself? Look at some of the British international schools.. have you ever thought of this? You can rent the house out for a year..

it's an utter cheek doing this but

here

I'm so sorry if it's inappropriate but sometimes the idea of something utterly wild can give you a bit of an excitement boost and the energy that goes with it

golly sorry again if i'm up the wrong road

and I'm sorry I didn't mention the adoption. It must have been so disappointing. I wish you luck for the next time.

stuffitall, thank you so much for your responses, so kind of you.
Yes, the adoption falling through has been the single worst experience of my life, over Christmas I had to take all the adorable floral curtains and bedding down/away as well as all the books and toys, cancel my adoption leave etc. Despite the fact I had full support from my SW (social worker) her supervisor, the child's social worker at the last minute backed out, long story, in the end not to do with me oddly enough but very very sad.

I'd love to go abroad, but my concern is that my father is suffering from some health issues and I am an only child, so don't feel like I can simply leave them. I know it's not my job to take care of them and I certainly know I need to put some space between us (10 minutes isn't enough) but I really don't feel like I can leave them when there is no one else to care for them. Ideally I'd like to be able to catch a train and visit for a weekend, do a big shop and a boig cook for them, treat them to a meal out or take them to the cinema etc.

I did live abroad for a year in my mid 20's and had a blast!

Googler - can I ask how old you are?

that should be a big cook (i.e. make soups, casseroles, pies, lasagna etc)

Anna I'm on the border or early/mid 30's!

You are very young to have given up on having your own children with your very own partner - is there something else at play?

I feel exactly like that googler, but for different reasons to you. I am about the same age as you - perhaps it is a pre-mid like crisis.......

I am fed up at work and have no idea what I want to do with my life. All of my friends are married so feel v lonely a lot of the time and my family are a total disaster.

The only thing that keeps me going is my DS (although unfortunately his dad is a total nightmare)

I fantasise about starting over in a new life

Sigh

YOu are not alone

On the bright side at least you have a job that opens doors to you so you could work abroad,.

Would you consideer that?

I have always wanted to adopt, and when you adopt a child they become your own children if that makes sense with love just as if you have given birth to them, I have seen that firsthand with others.
I didn't enquire until I was 32 and actually, have to say I was really surprised at the number of couples in their late 20's and early 30's and singles from 30-35 that were adopting (I certainly noticed a trend among the singles of nurses, teachers, even several single Dr's). Have you ever seen The Baby Race, that featured many singles from 30-39.
In the UK alone there are thousands of children waiting for a family, not that I should have to defend adoption though!

Ah.

I completely understand about the wanting a new life. That happened to me. And I walked out of the old life and got a new and much improved one .

However, I'm afraid I don't/can't understand why you would want to adopt rather than have your own baby with your own partner...

IdreamofClooney - thank you, so glad to hear I'm not alone, and I do too dream of Clooney.

No, I really don't think I could work abroad now, not only for family reasons, but the subjects I specialise in aren't standard in International schools.

I guess we all need to look at a next step - not sure what it is, I guess applying for jobs in new areas. I just telephoned about a training scheme that pays really well (to change profession) but was told the competition is fierce so they would advise volunteering and getting work experience before applying. Sigh, if only I knew what the right choice/profession/location was!

I think what I've learned Anna is that the world is filled with many different people, with different priorities, interests etc. There are many many people who adopt for a variety of reasons (infertility, health reasons, desire to provide a family for a child that won't have one, cultural reasons etc), for many of them, they may struggle to understand why everyone wants a birth child. I've always been open to both, my motto in life has always been "whatever floats your boat as long as it doesn't hurt others".
I don't expect expect everyone to want to adopt, but I don't expect others to think adoption it's a very distant second choice or last resort either, like I said whatever floats your boat

You started a new life? Was it successful?

I am so sorry your adoption didn't work out and I know what you mean about making friends. I feel I have very few friends where I live now and you sound like you could do with some now.

Do you have a dp?

No advice to offer but I hope you mamnage to find another dc who needs you and this adaoption manages to go smoothly and that having a child helps you make some friends.

Yes, new life is a huge improvement on the previous life... or end of it.

However, it involves man and baby as a very integral part of its success

Well that's great news, how did you start the new life? new job? move? etc any tips?

Thanks crazybabs for your support. I hope you make more friends in your area too, everyone tells me once you have a child you meet a great deal of people so at leas that will help down the road!

Yes, left job, moved all my stuff into storage, moved out and lived in transit for a couple of years while I made a plan/worked out what I wanted, then threw away much of said stuff as it belonged to an old life and was not needed in the new one.

That's a long story cut short, of course.

HI googler, only just back. Sorry I was making suggestions when you've already walked that road! But I hope things change for you soon x and I am very sorry about the adoption and send best wishes for that.

HI googler, only just back. Sorry I was making suggestions when you've already walked that road! But I hope things change for you soon x and I am very sorry about the adoption and send best wishes for that.

um - just came over to this thread expecting some sort of controversy, hyped up to (potentially) support Anna8888, and think I might have missed something.

Think I might have missed that googler is a really nice polite sensitive person.