Depression Baby steps

[sofabedsofa]

Today I’m going to tidy my bedroom and maybe even change sheets.

Im also going to go for a walk.

Then I will wash and get into comfy clothes. I wish I had a tv series to watch. I’ve got to stop scrolling through phone.

DH isn’t working today. He is being amazing. I might ask him to help get some healthier food in the house.

Sounds like a good plan. Let us know how you get on 😀.

Thanks @TulipsTwoLips

I cleaned my room, including changing the bed and then DH and I got on a mission and got quite a lot more cleaned.

Felt so much better after. I think I had four actually positive hours.

Went on a walk. Have found a TV programme so that will really help.

Want to get a decent nights sleep tonight. Then a new day tomorrow.

Ha, I love a good clean. Very motivating and good for the soul. How has your afternoon been?

A clean is good, isn’t it? And it’s so nice now to come to my nice smelling room.

I had a bath then a snooze then watched apprentice with family this evening. I feel like I have climbed down from a 9.5/10 to a 7/10 which is much more manageable.

thank you

Well done! Baby steps are good. I'm trying to do 1 or 2 positive, jobs each day that make me feel better to help life my mood. The black dog is well & truly sitting on my chest atm, but being able to see the impact of what I have managed each day really helps. Keep it up, but don't overdo it, it can be bloody exhausting dealing with all these emotions/lack of emotions.

Thank you @SkalengeckOrSiegbarste and sorry to hear you are also going through this. The chest-sitting-on black dog is a good analogy.

Going to see my parents today. Taking a route that allows me an hours walk, which I’m looking forward to.

Can day dream about a better future, which is a good sign. Need to push back hard whenever I get thoughts which trigger waves of self-loathing, hopelessness or panic.

Hope the walk is good! I'm trying to do little bursts of energetic tidying & organising. But it's very tiring. I just want to be able to look back at today, later on, and not feel like I wasted the day, just makes my mood worse. This last month I've started keeping a gratitude journal, trying to look for good things in each day & that is helping reframe my thinking. So, having a huge pile of washing up becomes - I am grateful that we have enough food to eat and somewhere to eat it.

You have both motivated me to tidy the dining room table that I’ve been putting off for ages! Thank you!

I like your way of reframing the washing up @SkalengeckOrSiegbarste . I hope you had an okay day.

Well done on the dining work @TulipsTwoLips . I’m glad we have helped to motivate you!

Okay day. Walk was nice. I’m now feeling overwhelmed by how much work I need to do over the next couple of days. I work Weds and Thurs but it’s a new job and I’m completely drowning. I also have really urgent home admin thats already really late cause I’ve been too anxious. It’s going to be hard to get to sleep tonight with so much that I’m worried about.

I do have a trashy tv programme though - so that’s good. Will watch a couple of episodes in bed tonight rather that phone scroll.

I also bought a book today. Crime novel with great reviews. Struggled to read the last couple of years, but I might try to commit to 5 pages a day.

You've done really well OP! Especially with getting motivated to clean. Making your environment better is really good self-care!

I'm also struggling after stopping my antidepressant (I'm an idiot!) and am setting little goals every day too. Today I have led a tiny Sunday school class (6children) at our tiny church, tidied the kitchen and put the dishwasher on and resisted a nap, as I knew it would mean I wouldn't sleep well tonight.

What are your goals for tomorrow?

I'm going to do laundry and make tea for me and dd, as dh is away with work overnight.

Well done on the table @TulipsTwoLips mine seems to be constantly covered in little piles of things ready to be organised and crumbs!
@weegiemum Sunday school is a huge thing to do! Sounds like you had a busy day. I too have a pile of washing to do. Plus a therapy session, call to GP to adjust my meds & sort my sick note & my smear. What a fun day for me!
@sofabedsofa how did you sleep? I like the five pages thing. I need to of note the pull of my phone at bedtime and pick up my book instead. I will attempt that this week and think of you!

Thanks for your message of support @weegiemum . I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling after coming off anti depressants. Do you think you will try to stay off them or would you consider taking them again?

Sounds like a busy day @SkalengeckOrSiegbarste . I hope it’s not been too overwhelming and that you got everything done that you needed to.

I completed all a big time sensitive work task today and also my scary remortgage application admin. I went for three walks - which to other people would be a good thing but for me it’s an avoidance tactic. I do need to get it down to two on my days off.

I slept amazingly last night. Listened to hypnosis track for anxiety and fell asleep at 930.

DH working this evening, but I know what’s for dinner and making it shouldn’t be too hard.

I am then aiming for another early night. Having a clean bedroom is really helping.

I'm struggling after the antidepressants as I came off them on my own against (or more accurately without) medical advice. I've got complicated long term depression and take a complicated regime of meds, and for some unknown reason decided I could do it on my own. Which I can't! So I've been slowly reintroducing my 3 medications after my dh (who is a doctor) figured out what had happened! And I'm starting to feel better, which is good!

Today I did all the laundry needing done, played in the garden with the dog for a while (can't manage a walk and dd was at college today), and made soup. I got an InstantPot for Christmas and it's great for making soup. It was leek and potato today, and it all went between me, dd and ds. I'm going to do lentil tomorrow!

I'm also doing well as dh is on call tonight so I'm on a roll of doing 8am Monday till 7:30pm Tuesday. But I'm doing it!

It's really nice to be able to fill someone in on what I've been doing! Can we keep this going?

I'm also finding it helpful @weegiemum . It sounds like you’ve had quite a journey with your depression. It’s good you are starting to feel better now the anti ds are being reintroduced. How is the next couple of days looking for you?

Less of a baby step and more of a toddler-sized step for me this morning. DH and I got up at 5am and were at the climbing centre when it opened at 6. I haven’t been for three years. We only stayed for maybe 20 minutes and I just climbed all the very easiest stuff.

Felt great after. Figured that was everything fixed! But anxiety has been creeping in. I felt really good and I got ambitious about what I can do today, so now I’m anxious about not being able to, or time running out. I have s roller coaster edge pit in my stomach.

However, I have sorted food for this evening and got organised about food for when I’m at work on weds and thurs.

Im going for a walk now. Only my second today. Then need to do one mortgage admin task.

Ideally, I’d also get some work done today, but I don’t know if that’s on the cards. I feel like I have a couple of hours when I can do stuff, and if I use it for food then it’s all run out for other stuff.

Read my 5 pages of book for second day running yesterday. Finished my tv series, which is a shame as having something junky to watch has really big impact on my well being.

Good luck with todays baby steps anyone who is reading this thread.

Anxiety rose all morning. Huge tiredness from lunchtime. All over body pain for last three hours. Ho hum.

I like coming back this chat too. Makes me feel less alone in all this & helps me with my accountability, but in a positive none judgmental way. I was telling my therapist about it yesterday & said it is helping a little with my efforts to be more self compassionate.
@weegiemum The soup making sounds great. We've got a soup maker but it's been in the cupboard without being used for ages, I may have to dust it off. I am a very solitary creature at times, but find when I am alone for too long I get desperate for DH to come home, only to get irrationally irritated with him. It's good to hear that you're sorting your meds. Many a time I have decided I don't need mine anymore, only to fall into a fit of despair, while still being convinced that I SHOULD be able to cope without them - daft!
@sofabedsofa sorry to hear that you've been overwhelmed, by the sounds of it you've done loads (too much?) I was reading about 'over promising' & feeling like we should be able to do more, so agreeing to do too much or making grand plans, that instead of making us super efficient & proactive, have to opposite effect. Be kind to yourself, plan fewer things and add to the list as you complete things, then hopefully you won't panic at a never ending job list. I'm a procrastinator, I seem to prefer to live in a constant state of fearful anxiety because I've overplanned for myself. A habit I'm trying hard to break.
Today I've done something which I think is brave. Booked my first guided meditation class for tomorrow evening. I feel really anxious about it but I'm determined to make myself go and hopefully learn some ways to relax and let go. Fingers crossed the bravery lasts!

@TulipsTwoLips how are you getting on?

Thanks for asking. Dipping in and out of the thread as we have a tiny baby who is loving being cuddled and not letting us do much else! Am reading everyone’s updates though and will post properly as soon as I have a decent chunk of time. Have a good day all 😀

I remember the feeling well @TulipsTwoLips, that lovely weight when they fall asleep on you. Enjoy!

Good luck with the guided meditation this evening @SkalengeckOrSiegbarste !

Hey there. How is everyone?

My baby steps for today:

Make healthy food choices
Make a decision about seeing my mum tomorrow
Last weekend I managed to kick start a better day by doing some cleaning with dh. I might see if that’s possible today

Hi all,
Meditation was good. I was pleasantly surprised. I'm going back next week for a different session. I've also signed up for an exercise class.
@sofabedsofa how was your day? Good food choices? Decision made about tomorrow? Your cleaning note inspired me to sort some copying of the kids and bag it up and put it in the loft.
I spent Thursday on the sofa, completely lethargic and unable to do anything. But Friday was a better day.

Thats great about the meditation. What exercise class have you signed up for? I’m glad that Friday was recoverable after a tough Thursday.

Going to see my mum as early as possible. Lots of transport disruption tomo, so won’t be easy but she has dementia that is advancing quickly and I don’t want to not see her tomo.

Ive found a tv series - Schitts Creek. It’s keeping me from sinking too far down during my worst moments. There are lots of episodes.

Im having breast surgery on Friday - hopefully a final diagnostic step in what’s been a drawn out process that started in the new year. No cancer found in two biopsies, but each time they’ve given me results, they’ve wanted to investigate something else. They are removing some atypical cells and taking a larger sample to check for cancer. I actually don’t care at this point what they say, as long as it’s not that they don’t know and need to investigate further. I’m done.