crying about birthday

[kennycat]

I'm feeling really down at the moment and it always happens around my birthday. I think I know it's going to be a hige let down where I feel unloved, unappreciated and generally not special like I make and effort to make everyone else feel on their special days. The question is what shall I do with myself on the day? I don't want to go out for dinner with family (eating disorder makes this very unenjoyable), don;t really want to spend time with my children and husband as the dynamic there makes me feel disliked, boring and like a control freakish haridan. I don;t want to spend much money, it;s going to be freezing too. I've lost all enthusiasm for anything I used to love so am struggling to think of how to spend the day...
Does any of that make sense?

Bath with candles, music or a book? Cinema or theatre with a friend? Live event or talk? What about something you might have wanted to do but never got around to, like a pottery or martial arts class?

What did you used to love OP?

I used to love running, cooking and theatre. Now I’m too lazy to run, can’t eat what I cook and can’t concentrate on tgeatre. Plus don’t want to see friends because I can’t cope with their cheery optimism when I feel so crappy about everything. I’m really wallowing in my own self pity I know this, and hate myself for it.

I have had birthdays like that and you need to be completely selfish on that day, otherwise you wil be stuck with it all year. I am planning a day out this year to a place that I love. If your birthday is soon and you're worried about the cold, layer up and plan a nice walk. I have an eating disorder too and I take my food with me so I'm not tempted to eat rubbish.

It can be done and you deserve to connect with yourself and feel happy.