House renovation overwhelm

[Madlizzy26]

Single parent, feisty but clearly more delusional than I reckoned. Have moved from a great flat to a doer upper house in a nicer area. Trouble is I hadn’t factored in all the little things that need attention prior to launching into the big stuff, the extension!
Overwhelmed, demoralised, please tell me that it’s normal!

Totally normal! I have done numerous refurbs etc. and it's getting harder as I age and with children not feel totally overwhelmed by it all. I am on my knees with a big job at the moment. All I can say is you do need to protect your mental health so take it slowly, don't be rushed and just plod along with the energy you have. I have really run myself down before (major health crisis sadly) as I just had burnout from decision fatigue and worry about it all. It is a marathon not a sprint, you will get there but expect it to take much longer than you planned. Then you will forget how painful it all was...

Thank you Grimbelina, good advice. I’m getting anxiety, not able to sleep or eat, but I think I need to wind it back and take it slower. The uncertainty is the killer, not being able to see the end. Very relived that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed, none of my friends do crazy stuff like this so I don’t have anyone to compare with!
Hope your project goes ok, sounds like you have a lot on your plate too!

Just a bit of solidarity. Moved last year from a great but too small little cottage to a massive project house. Completely overwhelmed too. We have not done any of the little things whilst we do the structural changes as didn’t want to waste time and have to re-do. It is at the stage when it has got worse before it gets better (I hope). The winter was tough but I’m hoping the spring/summer weather will help

I also don’t know why I do these things and don’t just buy a new build like everyone else I know!

It's not a mental health problem that you're finding a renovation stressful.

I am having a bad mental health spell atm.
Things happening atm

              Extension being done by ourselves. 
               Son left home recently. 
               Got new job after 24 yrs in my last one.
               Daughter got apprenticeship. 
               Just changed anxiety meds.

I'm literally on my knees atm and wonder why

Totally agree whatsmes, why didn’t I buy a new build! Apparently though renovations are like labour, you forget all about it when it’s over …. 🙏

That’s a lot Ilovedogs1, you need to cut yourself some slack. The only advice I can offer is chocolate and things will change, nothing stays the same (advice for myself too!)

I wake up nearly every night since I started this one (5 months). I do solve problems in the middle of the night though... but of course make (multiple) mistakes too. Always new issues and decisions to be made, even when you think you have thought of everything.

I also have never bought a place that I haven't renovated, madness!

Yes to things getting worse before they get better too.

I mean whilst finding renovating stressful isn't in itself a mental health problem, I had an ex begin a zillion jobs he never finished - was trapped in the relationship in the hope he'd finish them and then once he clearly wasn't going to and I didn't have the funds or physical ability (disabled) to sort it... it impacted my mental health to the extent I thought I'd end up hospitalised

Don't underestimate how much your day to day environment can impact your mental wellbeing

Household renovations are so stressful. I bought a new build because I didn't want the stress. BUT I am watching my home fall apart. Major works required and my mental health is destroyed. I am a prisoner in my home.

If you can afford it keep plodding along with the works. Remember you expected renovations and set a realistic timeframe. Are trades people letting you down or are you discovering additional jobs you hadn't expected?