Can't see the light at the end of the tunnel

[Ilovedogs1]

Hi
I posted a couple of weeks ago. I suffer with OCD and I was having a bad time with intrusive thoughts.
This has now ramped up into full scale anxiety/depression. I've had my medication looked at by the psychiatrist and have a CPN .
But every morning I wake up feeling like there is a knife in my chest, I can't breathe etc.
I know this is panic but then I spend the whole morning crying and all I feel is despair.
I cant even walk to the end of the rd because I feel so panicky.

I feel an absolute burden to my family.
My DH says I need to give it time because I'm ill but i can't see any improvement

This is so sad to read , and your DP is right as you will come out of this and it will lift .

Is there any help you can get for the intrusive thoughts? I remember hearing a useful technique once about negative thoughts and how to repeatedly stop them the minute they arose and switch to a positive one, and eventually it breaks the pattern of having them but that may be different.
I would absolutely look into gut health and a good, whole food diet too as our DS had anxiety and this completely helped his . Plus good for you anyway .
i am sorry it sounds so hard and you are certainly not a burden, so many people struggle and you are loved just as much regardless .

Hey love, I created an account to reply to you. I also suffer from OCD and am currently in the midst of a tough relapse. It's frightening how much our brains can work against us and we can suddenly find ourselves unable to function normally. It's upsetting and really knocks our confidence.

Are you in therapy at all? ERP is the gold standard treatment for OCD and it can really help us find our way through the mental madness. If you're struggling to access it, there is loads of info online for you to do it without a therapist. Obviously it's not the most ideal situation but in the past I've made a ton of progress just through learning about ERP and applying the techniques myself. ACT is also a great therapy used alongside it.

I'm struggling to follow my own advice at the moment but the key thing to remember is the content is irrelevant - OCD is the process and it's a bloody useless one at that! Our brains are stuck in a loop seeking certainty about something which can't be answered (or else we would've found the answer already!). OCD will never be satisfied so the best solution is to work at not engaging/reducing compulsions - essentially dropping the rope in this cruel, torturous game of tug of war. We don't have to play the game. Over time we can face these triggers without doing compulsions, the anxiety comes down on its own and we start to feel better and get our lives back.

If nothing else, I hope this post reminds you that you're not alone in this struggle. We won't feel this way forever and we are stronger than we think. Sending you a bigggg hug and lots of strength and encouragement. Remember, each day is a new opportunity to work at this.

Hi. Thank you for your replies. @pineapple7peach I have had therapy which included a bit of ERP.
I've read a LOT on treatment and ERP and I do totally see how it works. It's just because OCD latches onto what's important to you with ERP taking the 'risk' just seems to risky if you know what I mean.
I've suffered years with OCD, all intrusive thoughts based on what might have happened in the past.
Thing is I recognise I'm ruining now by doing the compulsions but I feel guilty if I dont. Then to top it all off I'm just so tired.
How does your OCD manifest?

Hi @Ilovedogs1 sorry for my extremely late response! How are you doing at the moment?

My OCD started out a few years ago and latched onto my relationship. ROCD has always been my main theme but I've also had episodes of health, scrupulosity and just right OCD to name a few. I'm happy to say I'm doing much better than I was a few months ago. Hoping you are too?

Hi @pineapple7peach . Still struggling I'm afraid. I'm on holiday atm which I'm finding challenging. Change of routine and lots of people making me feel anxious.
I'm still doing the things I would be if my OCD wasn't playing up like going on days out etc. Despite the anxiety I won't let it stop me doing things. Just hard going atm.