Apologies if this is in the wrong place but I feel it covered multiple topics and ultimately mental health is the most important to me with everything else connected to it so I went for this topic. I'm mainly posting for myself as a diary to check in every so often.
I'm mid 30s with two little boys (2.5 years and 5 weeks old). It has taken us 6 years in total to conceive our boys (male factor, a natural miscarriage, icsi miracle then a natural miracle) and it has taken its toll.
I'm at the stage where I've just had enough and have admitted to myself finally I have a problem with food. I had counselling last year in which my counsellor gently brought up Overeaters Anonymous but I remember brushing it off and thinking that's not me. I'm just lazy, I know I have control, I just choose not to etc. But something clicked last night after another takeaway that I have no control. I have since been researching Overeaters Anonymous and it is my intention to attend an online meeting this week as a first step to recognising I have a problem.
My boys have been the main motivator really. I want to give them a childhood with a happy active mum. I actually love sports (playing football, martial arts, climbing, hiking). But my weight stops me doing it all and I just stay inside a lot. I am especially grumpy in the summer, likely because of my weight. I want this to change. I want to not only interact and run around with my boys but I want my life back. More importantly I want to be there for them. I don't want to die young. I need to do this now while I'm still only in my mid 30s.
At this stage, I'm 40kg overweight (an extra 5kg is new from my pregnancy which won't budge). You wouldn't think it to look at me. I'm clearly overweight but no one thinks by that much. I'm still mobile, I can still go for a 3 hour hike with a break in-between. But 4 hours is then pushing it. But I can't run around, I get breathless. My weight being so bad means my mental health suffers, anxiety gets worse and manifests in health issues.
I need to make changes. I'm prepared for it to be a long, slow process. I'm setting small realistic goals and preparing myself for ups and down. If I fall off the wagon, I will tell myself the wagon has stopped and is waiting for me to get back on.
My first main goal is to accept I have a mental issue with food and sort myself out. I want to attend an online overeaters anonymous meeting once a week for the next 6 weeks to see if it's something for me.
Secondly, my birthday was in January and with the money, I've bought myself some north face hiking shoes. There are 44 weeks left of this year. My goal is to attempt to get rid of 0.5lbs a week. But I'd rather not get too hung up on the numbers right now.
Thus, another goal is to hike more. I'm near gorgeous mountains in Europe which I can escape to with DH and the boys and I plan to do a longer hike with them once a month from the summer onwards. When not hiking, trekking with the boys to parks that are further away will be how I fit in more walking.
Another goal is to get out more in spring/ summer / autumn. I hope this will help my mental health. I already love going out in the spring, it's usually blue skies, sun and a chilly air here which I adore. For the summer, I want to aim to be out early mornings and early evenings to avoid the strong heat so I'm not miserable. I feel this could be a good compromise (with myself 😅). Early autumn is like summer but with angry bugs, so I will need to stay away from woods to be happier here.
I'm going to concentrate on myself, my mental health, my physical health and my boys over the next 44 weeks. DH is always a great support and we do lots as a family anyway so I know he'll be 100% there for me and I'll still be spending time with him.
I'm ready to make these changes. And I hope I can stay on track and find a way to do it.