From where do you get your self esteem?

[Appleabananasandpears]

I’d say I get my self esteem from my presentation. Note, note necessarily appearance but how I present myself I.e clothes, the state of my home. Also my competence at work, although not salary really. And my ability to be self-sufficient and not having to rely on others.
Not so much relationships as im ok with my own company, or my ability to keep up with the Joneses.
How about you?

Just from believing that I, and all other humans, have worth,. Nothing I do or don't do changes that.

Same as you OP, re presentation and work. Also knowing that I try my best to be a good friend - listening, making time and space for people, especially their difficult feelings and tough times. And knowing that I have done a huge amount of work on myself (years of therapy etc) and am a calmer, more peaceful, more resilient person for it

1. Knowing that I am loved and valued by God, however many mistakes I make and whatever I look like.
2. Taking pride in my 36 years service as a hospital doctor, despite my toxic parents repeatedly telling me I would never pass my exams during medical school.
3. Being proud of the two wonderful DDs I raised alone from babyhood after DH died.
4. Knowing that for 16 years I was loved by the most wonderful man I have ever met, who rebuilt my self esteem after my parents systematically destroyed it during my childhood.

All we need to remember is this:

You are enough.
You are worthy just as you are.
There's nothing you need to do.

You matter, your voice matters.

You are ok. You are loved.

From my parents.

Lovely responses guys, very touching.
@CognitiveBehaviouralHypnotherapy and @Hillrunning what you say is right but difficult to live for many of us. Did you have to take a journey to get to this place or have you always thought like that?

A general sense that everyone has worth, I suppose.

I feel quite lucky considering some elements of my childhood - a sense of self-esteem certainly wasn't modelled to me or encouraged by my parents ha.

I think my childhood self-esteem probably stemmed from knowing that if nothing else, I was smarter than most other kids - if anything I was overly confident about that (but that evened out as I'm older and while I'm glad of it, I'm absolutely aware it's nowhere near the most important thing).

Just as some others have said, to know
I am worthy as I am
I am valued as I am
and I am loved as i am.

I treat everyone else the same as I would like to be treated and I value them for themselves, it's irrelevant to me how educated they are, what job they have, how much money they earn/have or any materialistic things they own.

My self-esteem is internal. Just have a good opinion of myself, other people's opinions of me don't matter, good or bad.

It's nice if someone compliments me, but it doesn't validate me, in the same way that a negative opinion of me wouldn't make me feel badly about myself.

Now that you say it @Appleabananasandpears I probably WAS born feeling worthy or enough...like all humans start their life.

But that confidence dwindles as we go through life, we lose self-love and buy into the limiting beliefs we pick up from our environment.

Like many others, I had a few low points. A decade of eating disorders, addictions, reckless, destructive lifestyle, low self confidence, people pleasing tendencies, low moods, overthinking.

It took me years to truly learn to love and accept myself just as I am. And I can't say the self doubt goes away fully. That's the human condition right?

But I've learned to be aware of it, manage it, recognise it as toxic voice in my head. Transform and heal it. That's true strength. Also accepting imperfections and cutting myself some slack.

Always choosing love over fear. And leaning into these mantras until we feel this in our bones: You are enough. You are worthy just as you are. There's nothing you need to do. You matter, your voice matters. You are ok. You are loved.

Not dwelling on my mistakes or other sad things.
Knowing that there are opportunities in everything that happens & it's often good idea to wait and see in response.

This is something I’ve struggled with for so long.
Interesting reading other replies.