How to explain to DH that ‘tough love’ isn’t working

[User8367]

I’m struggling at the moment. Having a bout of depression and anxiety. Was signed off work for 2 weeks and went back to work today and had a really good day. Actually felt good about myself for the first time in weeks.

was trying to sort out some bills this evening and getting quite stressed as the website kept crashing and the instructions of what to do weren’t very clear so I was going round in circles. Ended up saying in frustration “I feel so incompetent I can’t even do this”. DH got angry with me and told me I needed to stop with all the negative thinking and ‘sometimes people just need to be told’

im so upset now. I’ve tried so hard the last couple of weeks to get better, exercising daily, getting plenty of fresh air. Trying to practice some self compassion. No wallowing or saying anything negative. Now I’m sat in the other room in tears feeling like a failure again and DH is angry because I can’t just be more positive

Ugh what a cunt, I'm sorry you're having such a shitty evening. You're not a failure at all, and your H has absolutely no right to talk you like that nor be angry at you for your reaction.

Is he usually void of empathy and a complete and utter bastard?

You're doing brilliantly in how you're dealing with your depression and anxiety, please don't give him the power to drag you down.

I'm a long time sufferer of anxiety,OCD and depression.

My DH is generally really supportive but on occasion he has lost his rag about it.
For him he said its more about frustration because he wants to help me but can't.
Also if your DH is a laid back type often they just dont get it.
Not excusing his behaviour just sometimes that may be where it's coming from.
I'm struggling atm and my DH is very much 'you'll be better in time'
Thing is when your anxious/depressed hour seems like a day, day like a week etc.
You have my solidarity. Xx