I have been working on confidence and assertiveness at work. I work in a healthcare / nursing setting.
I have always lacked confidence and had self esteem issues (plus imposter syndrome) but with help from my management team, I have been building my confidence with decision making, voicing my opinions, taking the lead, dealing with aggressive situations with service users and it has been noticed by others.
But these two colleagues, one in particular, have returned from long sick leave and this one in particular was trying to make me and a couple of other colleagues feel inadequate about a task, so much so one of them was found crying later on as she was fed up of it. This was the second time he had made me feel inadaquate (two seperate days).
Well, me and this pigheaded a**hole got in an argument as he was starting up again and this time I actually said stuff back and stood my ground with him. I was then met with being told I wasn't understanding his point and was talking over him which I certainly was not. I just ended the conversation / argument there and then. He then ignored me the rest of the shift which was fine by me lol.
My friend and husband told me that I should be proud of the fact that I stood up for myself as I would normally avoid conflict but I feel I should have done that when he first started and that i was coward not doing it straight away but something in me just snapped and I had had enough of it.
I have been going over this in my head for a couple of days and getting upset as I am now filled with self doubt about my decision making and my abilities again. For the past couple of months I have been getting told by colleagues that there has been major differences in me (all good). This colleague obviously doesn't like me sharing opinions. I don't know why I care so much what others think and put my self worth in their hands.
The other colleague I was talking about has always been so condescending and would rather bark orders than move off her seat. Likes to think she is superior. I always feel uncomfortable around her and just can't be myself aroumd her.
I do have anxiety / depression so just wonder if it is linked or am I just going to learn how to deal with setbacks? I feel I am more upset about this than I should be. I am looking to moving on from there but don't want chased out especially since my manager has given me more responsibility work wise.
Any advice / words of encouragement appreciated.