How can I stop feeling this way?

[mrscrm735]

I have suffered from varying degrees of anxiety and depression my whole life. I have always been able to mostly keep it under control. However, a year ago I experienced a traumatic event in my life. This also caused me to develop PTSD.

my anxiety is through the roof most days. My depression which has mostly been under control in the past, has been totally crippling this past year. I am no longer happy or have any enjoyment in my life. I’m completely miserable. I am unfulfilled with no sense of direction. I am a shell of my former self and mostly distant emotionally from my husband and children. My depression reduces me to tears on an almost daily basis.

My PTSD causes me nightmares about once a week and I wake up punching my pillows. I have panic attacks a few times a month.

I feel like a prisoner in my own mind and don’t know what to do to feel relief. I have sought as much help as I can. I have been in therapy for a year now and it has done very little. I even stuck with my current therapist for a while now to give it time as I have tried several other therapists before her.

I have also been on several different anti depressants and anti anxiety meds and combinations there of. A couple of meds I couldn’t stick with the cause the side effects but the rest didn’t really help, despite giving them adequate time to work.

I am not sure where to go from here. Usually I can snap out of my depression by reaching out to
my support system, but I have truly been isolating myself from everyone, which I never do. I have also been able to pull myself out of a depression by finding things I enjoy, but I no longer have interest in anything.

Does anyone have any tips or words of wisdom
on how to cope or deal with this degree of depression when you feel totally and completely hopeless? Can anyone related and share what has helped them?

hey op- I have ptsd and anxiety.
I’ve been through the thick of it. Setraline saved me- but it I’m honest exercise and getting outdoors in the thick of nature at any opportunity. Cut out coffee, and change your diet to as healthy as you can.
Long term- have you seen a counsellor to worth through PTSD?

The side effects from setraline pass after a week/two weeks.
i find when I am bad and I can see my patterns going downhill I have to literally MAKE myself do things until eventually they become enjoyable.
Its tough, it’s winter , but after a few days it can lift you out of the dark

Has your counsellor specialised in trauma therapy where they work through the event- and you write it down and record yourself saying it then listen to it every night for a week?

I feel like a prisoner in my own mind

Your mind, your subconscious mind, is not working against you. But it is trying to work out how and why the trauma happened - in order to ensure it doesn't happen again - which is why it revisits it from every angle by way of flashbacks and dreams. Consider talking to a remedial hypnotist/hypnotherapist - they can allow you to connect with that part of your subconscious to tell it to "stand down".

Also, have a look at this video about anxiety;

Have you had EMDR to process the trauma?

@mrscrm735 I can totally relate to the absolute hopeless, despairing feeling.
Personally I have anxiety with intrusive thoughts/doubts. When my anxiety is high these thoughts run wild eventually leading me into a non functioning depression. This is where I currently am. Unfortunately I have no words of wisdom just that in my experience time usually does its thing. Sending you hugs. X