I’m looking for advice from people who have bi polar, and in particular those who have angry outbursts during depressive states. My mum has a number of mental health issues and has done all my life. She was diagnosed as manic depressive when I was a child which I believe is now known as bi polar. She can be my normal, caring, funny mum sometimes. At others she is manic, spending money she doesn’t have, buying animals she can’t possibly look after, planning trips that could never happen etc etc. but in a depressive state she is literally seeping with anger and hatred. The smallest thing will trigger huge outbursts of abusive messages. Saying unkind things. Threatening self harm. It’s is pretty bad. My question is, does she know what she is saying and doing? How much of it does she have control over? Is it something that takes over (like the kind of anger seen in dementia patients) that she really can’t be blamed for. The thing I struggle with most is that she will never apologise, even after the event when she is out of that phase she will never admit she was wrong, she will just excuse her behaviour by maintaining that the other person committed some minor infringement that justifies it. I’ve seen even my young adult nephews emotionally abused, and left truly psychologically traumatised and distraught and I’ve suffered her wrath so many times I’ve lost count. As a teen she would sometimes come in my room in the middle of the night while I was sleeping ranting and raving. I just want to try and understand from the other side how I can reconcile the two people I know to be mum.