Pregnancy blues, is this normal?

[ELL2478]

Hi iv posted on here a couple of times already but I'm just desperate to talk to somebody. I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with my third DC and have felt anger, rage and sadness like never before. At times I feel so down I just don't want to exist anymore which makes me feel so selfish as I am lucky to have my children. Has anybody ever felt something similar? Im also really starting to resent my husband which also sounds horrible. Im not sure if this hormonal or a sign of something different, I just feel so dreadfully unhappy.

Has anybody felt similar while pregnant? I find myself questioning everything especially my relationship and if I am a good mum. I have a cinstant feeling of dread eveey morning when i get up. I cant talk to my husband about it.

Hi OP, I felt like this having come off my antidepressants when TTC.

Have you had similar during previous pregnancies?

In my area the perinatal mental health team were fantastic. You can reach out via your GP or health visitor or midwife, or self refer.

Good luck.

Morning! So sorry you're feeling this way. I was a bit similar in all my pregnancies - and since then (mine are all adult now) I believe pre-natal depression has been recognised. All my babies were wanted and I had a good relationship with their dad, so I imagined it to be hormones doing their thing.
I hated pregnancy which is sad really, and that feeling only subsided going into the last trimester.

Highly recommend that you have a chat with your midwife or GP about this.
Sending you a hug @ELL2478 💐

Regardless of the cause you need to speak to someone about this, maybe your midwife or gp? (Easier said than done I know). Struggling right now (or ever) does NOT make you a bad mum/wife/person. Everyone has their moments and yes sometimes it's short lived and goes away by itself, but sometimes you need a bit of help. Hormones have a lot to answer for at the best of times! Let alone during pregnancy. Please don't feel guilty, just speak with someone.

Thank you for your replies. The midwife said I could stay on anti depressants (I gave them up when I found out I was pregnant) but I dont wish to do that. They make me so tired and I'm up most of the night with the kidd anyway. I also don't want them passing to baby as I know they do in very small amounts. I do hope it resolves. It just feels so strong atm that it's affecting everything. My relationship is OK. I have a few issues with my OH that iv posted about before. I also can't talk to him about how I feel because I get nothing back, he doesn't talk about feelings or show much affection. He's a wonderful dad though and kind.

You certainly need to properly talk with someone, @ELL2478 Did this happen in your previous pregnancies? DH might not be a talker, but is he pulling his weight with the children and supporting you with being pregnant? Why is it you up at all hours with your child?
Do you have friends you can chat with?

Depression during pregnancy is more common than PND but it shouldn’t be seen as normal. As your midwife for a referral to the maternal mental health team.

I had PND after my second. He does pull his weight to be fair he's very good. But he works full time including a lot of nights and volunteers in his spare time. I also work part time. I'm up because my 2 year old won't settle on anyone else he was breastfed and still wants to suckle even though my milk has dried up.

I have a couple of friends but there's certain things I can't talk about involving home life. Does any one have any idea what the mental health team would suggest? I have had CBT before for anxiety but don't want to that again as don't think it's helpful for the way I feel at the moment.

@thelittlestbird thank you for replying. Can i ask what help you were offered?