I apologise in advance for this as it’s a long one. I guess what I’m looking for is some advice or just words of reassurance.
I’ve struggled with my mental health for about 6 years with periods of anxiety and depression, managed with medication and exercise. I’ve never been particularly confident and have very low self esteem. I also find friendships really difficult to navigate so lose touch with people quickly.
A year ago I had a baby and was hit with crippling post natal depression and anxiety. This happened 3 days after the birth and luckily my GP, midwifes and the perinatal MH team stepped in quickly with support. Although my mental health is much better now, I’m like a different person to who I was a year ago. I find small tasks so overwhelming so basically just avoid them. This could be as simple as doing the washing, having a shower etc. In my head I build them up to be huge! Along with this I find I’m lacking in motivation and confidence for everything. I hate getting dressed as nothing fits me anymore, hate going out, and basically would just rather stay home where I feel ‘safe.’
I regularly have thoughts where I feel like I’d rather not be here anymore but would never act on it. I just find life so ridiculously hard and am therefore withdrawing from it (if that makes sense).
Does anyone have any advice at all? Thank you in advance if you do.