Anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and crisis line

[Alex202]

Hello, has anyone got any tips on how to manage overwhelming anxiety? I posted a long time ago regarding intrusive thoughts. Received CBT therapy and felt loads better for a long time. The past few days however, I feel overwhelmed with guilt (that I was capable of thinking such thoughts in the first place) my anxiety is through the roof and I’ve just cried solid for two days. I’ve been to see my GP They are reluctant to give me medication because sertraline made me feel really suicidal, they advised me to go to a&e however and take the diazepam they have prescribed but I don’t like the addictive properties and don’t feel it’s safe to take whilst having responsibilities as a parent. I’ve also been to a&e before and it was just useless. I can’t help but think everyone would be better off without me being a burden on them. I’ve got a very supportive partner and children. I’ve already tried journaling, and meditation. I’m currently trying to work up the motivation on going on a long walk. I’ve got more therapy starting on the 21st but could really do with some more coping mechanisms before then as I’m due to start my nursing placement next week 🥹 any advice or tips would be very welcomed. Thanks in advance.

Have a look at this video;

If you like it he has numerous other videos on his channel, including at least one on intrusive thoughts.

You should try mindfulness.

Don't go for for a long walk initially, just go around the block with a brisk pace. In no time at all you'll feel you will want to go further.

Perhaps talking about a long walk makes it sound a bit daunting right now so just do 10 or 15 minutes.

@Eyesopenwideawake great video, thanks. Will watch the intrusive thoughts one too.

@DRS1970 Ive already tried this, this morning. I just ended up in floods of tears. I will try again later, thank you.

@Chickenvoicesinmyhead i managed an hour long walk, feel much better but still have that feeling of guilt and dread. Going to try a hot bath and maybe a nap. Hopefully I’ll feel better soon ❤️

A hours walk is great 👍 Perhaps plug yourself in to the TED talks while you're going around? Double benefit!

With your thoughts, have you tried letting them in, acknowledging them then giving yourself permission to let them go. Visualisation?

If you are on Twitter, Dr Nicole LePera is very good. Even if you take snippets away with you.

@Chickenvoicesinmyhead I know how to manage the thoughts, I’ve had CBT and have done really well for a long time. I just feel all of a sudden overwhelmed with guilt for even being capable of thinking the thoughts in the first place. That’s what I’m struggling with most, I can’t seem to find it in me to forgive myself 🥹

Guilt shows how far you've come as you are genuinely horrified at the thoughts you had. How was I even capable of thinking those things?

It's the next stage of repair and while really unpleasant it's a sign you have progressed from being "in it" to observing from the outside looking in.

Sorry to hear. My anxiety was cured by medication and therapy (not CBT).
Mindfulness and exercise helped somewhat.
But the cure came when I was able to express my deepest fears in a very safe place. Somehow getting them out stopped them sticking in my brain. That and Prozac really sorted me out!
Is there a therapist you can reach out to for an emergency session or two?

@Chickenvoicesinmyhead thats a really great way of looking at it. Thank you.

@bluejelly i really wish I could have meds to get over this part but the GP is very hesitant because of how suicidal it made me feel. Unfortunately not, my CBT was funded through the NHS last time and I was seen as a priory because I had a child under 2, he no longer is unfortunately. The GP did write a letter to IAPT yesterday to get me seen quicker as I’m back to getting suicidal feelings again. They have rang me and got me in on the 21st.. level 2 therapy, I’m not sure what that means but I’ll take anything at the moment. Glad you’re feeling better. Fingers crossed I’ll get over this sometime soon too xx

OP, you sound lovely. Well done for posting on here and asking for help :) I highly recommend the book Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts (or any book from the Overcoming series). It really opened my eyes.

Well done on the walk! I have found walking has really helped my mental health :) A couple of years ago I started a walking challenge to walk 1000 miles in a year (it's 2.75 miles a day, about an hour's walk). You get a shiny medal at the end of it. You can look it up, just Google walk 1000 miles challenge. It's run by Country Walking magazine. There's a lovely supportive Facebook group as well. Lots of people on there walk to improve their physical health.

You've got this xx

I meant mental health... and physical health too! ;)

Sertaline and citalopram were both awful for me. Fluoxetine, however, has been life-changing and I suddenly realised what life was like for “normal”
people. I’ll probably never come off it. Maybe try a different med.

@Usernamqwerty i actually have that book, I purchased it back in my darker days. It really did help, maybe I could go over it again. Thank you for reminding me. I will definitely have a look at that, motivation is definitely a key factor on the worst days, but I always feel better after I’ve done it. I managed the zoo with the kids yesterday and have gone to work this morning. Funnily enough my cycle is just finishing. I am beginning to notice these episodes are beginning around when my period is due. Maybe hormonal changes?

@peachgreen thank you for the recommendation. I’m going to contact the GP to get some sort of plan in place tomorrow. I definitely need a way forward, I can’t keep having these episodes. I’m terrified one of these days I’m going to tip over the edge on a spare of the moment decision 😖 xx