Obesity and long-term mental illness means I'll never have friends

[fedupfufu]

Previous episodes of psychosis (hearing voices), suicide attempts, suicidal feelings have led to me barely living life. I go to work, come home and that's it. People who I thought were friends have severed contact. Due to over a decade of being prescribed antidepressants and then antipsychotics that have affected my appetite and metabolism, I am now morbidly obese. I saw a thread not too long ago about assisted suicide for people with mental illness being allowed in Canada. Maybe I should move there and put an end to the misery. I should never have been born. Is there any hope for a better life when nobody gives you the time of day? Maybe I'm just a drain on society.

There is always hope.

Small things to start making a difference; walk at home, on the spot if you don't want to go out. Slowly build up to moving more and more every day to feel better and more active.

Join online groups of people with the same interests as you.

Try not to be too hard on yourself.

I'm sorry to hear this OP. I have mental health conditions (albeit I'm lucky enough not to experience psychosis, which must be another level of hell) and I am obese and my life isn't going particularly well either!

Do you have any hobbies? What would you like to do in an ideal world? What opportunities do you have?

Also are there any support groups for your condition/s? I attend an online support group for one of my MH conditions and find it so beneficial to talk to people going through the same thing.

Have you looked at the friendly weight loss chat area? Might be a start to changing things?

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website
or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Some further support links:

NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
NHS: Looking after your mental health
MIND: Coping with mental health problems during coronavirus

CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably
NHS: Help for suicidal thoughts

Very best wishes from MNHQ.

I got referred to the local Mind by the Adult Mental Health Team in my area. But where I work, I can't make the group sessions during the daytime and the only online group they offer isn't for people with severe mental illness. Due to being on Aripiprazole and not having an episode since 2019, the AMHT said there's nothing they can do for me really. I can't seem to find anything online for my situation mental health wise. I'm not confident in the previous diagnoses I've been given as different professionals have told me different things. One psychiatrist suggested Complex PTSD, another suggested that and Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, another said no and said I'm a Paranoid Schizophrenic.

You are absolutely not a drain on society. Definitely not. I promise you on that one.

I agree with Roses about support groups and speaking to people who have similar experiences.

Can you get referred to EIP? I have psychosis and am under their care and they are literally keeping me alive. They also run a 'hearing voices' support group which is internationally recognised.

Don't be alone because you're not.

I'm really sorry to hear about the confusing and conflicting diagnoses, and the fact that you're in a support limbo situation. That's pretty unfair on you.

If not support groups, then what about online communities focused around your condition/sa. You can for example join different subreddits for conditions you think might be relevant, and see which ones feel supportive and relatable for you.

I’ve been there and got the t-shirt. It turned out the root cause of my issues where ADHD. After suffering psychosis I became more and more isolated and depressed. My daughter started nursery in Jan and I now spend my mornings talking to half of the village. I’m far far happier now I have a sense of belonging again.

Are there any other groups you could join to help you to build up your confidence with socialising. I used to go to a drop in sewing class once a week

I can barely get through the day: I just about manage to go to work but that's it. I talked to the GP about being morbidly obese and they suggested walking more and referral to a Slimming World group. However, there isn't one near enough to me and I'm so tired after work that I don't have the energy to exercise. When I was younger, I did enjoy going to the gym but now at a size 26, I feel too self-conscious and huge compared to everyone there. I can't deal with the potential rude comments and looking out of place. I'm also so tired all the time. During the day at work, I'll have a banana in the morning then a fruit salad for lunch or sometimes toast. Then when I get home I'm too tired to cook most of the time so I end up ordering takeaway or make a stir fry. My life just feels so empty and pointless.

Hi @fedupfufu sorry you're going through this 😔
You mentioned that you enjoyed going to the gym when you were younger, could you put up a photo of the days when you did go to the gym which you can see everyday for motivation?
You could build up the exercise at home, maybe start with 3 minutes everyday for a week, then build it up to 4 minutes then 5 then 6. I try and do 5 minutes of arm exercises and i can really feel the burn.
Hope you get through this time, sending you positive vibes x

I’ve no idea if a GP would prescribe this but a couple of times recently I have heard about prescribing metformin alongside psychiatric drugs that cause weight gain because it helps to counter the effects. Maybe worth asking.

Also given how tired and how low you feel maybe you need a general medication review and adjustment? Surely the point of medication is not only to prevent the psychotic episodes.
Maybe speak to the AMHT again and point out that you’re not actually stable mood-wise.