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Feelin sorry for myself or do I need a big kick up the ar*e

5 replies

skinnyj · 07/02/2008 13:01

Hi
Dad has been suffering from v.bad depression since Christmas. He had ECT last week but unfortunately Cardiac Arrested after it. He is now stable but still v.depressed. This morning he was diagnosed as being bi-polar. It is agreed that he needs more ECT to help him mentally but are worried cos of the physical side of things.
I live 30 mins away from mum, work part time & have 3 small children. I'm finding it very hard to cope at the moment & keep on falling out with DH - he thinks my mum is relying on me too much for help. I just don't know what to think, I am v.worried about dad & want to be there to support mum, feel am cracking under the pressure of it all, at work I read reports 5 times but nothing goes in, last night I used nail polish remover by mistake to remove makeup. Am also concerned my elder 2 are picking up on my negative moods as they've started to be v.clingy & crying before school.
God - do I sound as though I'm being a moaner, I really need to get a positive grip but just feel suffocated by it all.

OP posts:
NAB3wishesfor2008 · 07/02/2008 13:02

TBH I think your Dh should help more with the family so you can be there for your parents.

Acinonyx · 07/02/2008 14:41

Perhaps there is something in both views - hard to say from the information as posted. If this is going to be a long term situation then you will have to think about how much support you can provide and sustain long-term. It sounds as though that would be less than you are doing now and perhaps that is where your dh has a point.

OTOH, I think you dh needs to support you supporting your parents. How would he feel if it were his parents?

You are not a moaner. I have BTDT with parental ill health - it really is very stressful.

skinnyj · 07/02/2008 20:20

Hi DH been slightly more understanding tonight, have actually been to docs myself & put on Prozac - thought that was for serious depression - is that me?

OP posts:
Acinonyx · 08/02/2008 12:22

Depression can be reactive - ie as a reaction to life events. Perhaps that's you. Also - drugs like pprozac can also treat anxiety - that's what many ADs were in fact first meant to do. Hope you are feeling better.

ohforaname · 09/02/2008 11:44

Hi SkinnyJ
Can you talk to anyone at work about what's going on? With your receiving medical treatment for yourself because of the strain of your situation (which I am afraid is common for a lot of carers of people with mental illness) you might be entitled to some support through work.

If you've got an approachable and understanding employer, it might be good to tell them everything that's going on as they might be able to give more support with your workload. Even if they're not approachable you might be entitled to compassionate leave (or something?)to attend medical appointments with your Dad (to share the load with your mum - give her a bit of a break?) without having to go through all the details, (just a supporting letter from your GP? Worth looking into?). I hope someone with more knowledge on your rights in this situation comes along. Might be an idea to post something in the employment section?

Even though you don't live with your parents, you are still a carer and deserve some support, especially if supporting the person you care for is impacting on your own health. Did your Dr offer you (and/or your mum) a carer's assessment? You should probably be entitled to one, but may need to ask for it.

It sounds to me as if, in an ideal world, you would like to be able to make more time to help your mum and dad out, a lot more than you find possible at the moment. Which is a positive and selfless thing to want!

I wish you every luck and the only advice I can offer is to try to think about what you would ideally like to do - get more outside support for your parents? Take the burden off you a bit? Or to make adjustments in your life so you can be more hands on in a caring role? Talk to as many people as possible about it because the strain of caring (even from a distance)is often under estimated, but there may be support available to you (and your family) that you just don't know about. Google for carers support organisations?

More generally should be done to recognise wider impacts on families of mental illness. I think it is rare for any carer not to find it hard going (I do!). IMO lack of support can often mean carers themselves need time off work, put on meds etc, so a good employer would understand the benefits of helping you early on in your situation.

Try to engage your DH in any decisions, are there any possibilities you could manage working less hours? Could he agree to putting the children to bed on regular nights of the week so you can spend an eveing with your mum? Anyone else in the family able to help out?

Over and above all you are not just feeling sorry for yourself, neither do you need a kick up the back side. You are being a very caring person, trying your best to deal with your responsibilities and supporting your whole family through a difficult time. Give yourself a hug x

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