Am I just crap at life?

[RichTeaCheddars]

I am seeking professional help, but it will inevitably be slow so I'd like to see what other people might think so I can try to help myself in the meantime. Apologies as this is quite long!

I try really hard to manage my day to day life. I have a supportive family but i try hard but I still just struggle with day to day life. I get overwhelmed at general life such as food shopping, laundry, cleaning, life with my toddler. I have received CBT several times and I use techniques I have learnt there to keep me from spiralling down into depression but it's a complete struggle every day.

As a young child I did well academically. But then I started to struggle at school as the work got harder and the disruptive children left - A level and degree. I just didn't have the skills needed to take on the extra self responsibility for work. I was diagnosed with dyslexia at university. In the assessment the main skill identified that I struggled with was working memory.

In my teens and early 20s I had periods of very bad depression. I had another period of depression when I moved out of my parents house into my own home with my partner I found it really hard and had a mental breakdown.

Currently I also fluctuate between low mood, neutral and a higher mood. I can go to bed feeling one way and wake up in a totally different mood for no obvious reason at all. I have been told that these higher moods seem more than what would be a good mood for someone else. I have a lot of energy, big plans, am a lot more active, suddenly able to get lots of tasks or jobs done, take on a lot more than I should at that time, I might spend money on things that I don't really need. But never a rush to my self or others and don't spend beyond my means (largely as I buy lower value things and return lots).

I find it hard to concentrate on things, I'm easily distracted by noises in the environment (eg. Can't concentrate on partner in a restaurant due to table next to us talking, I can't count in my head if someone else is counting out loud, I get very stressed if someone is in the kitchen when I'm cooking as their presence takes all my attention and I can't focus on my task). I find it hard to get started with jobs and will procrastinate for a long time. I get irritated and frustrated quickly sometimes and I really struggle if plans change or things don't go the way they should have done. Or if someone says they'll do something and they don't.

I've tried to mention these symptoms to GP before but it's hard in the short appointment times and it's been dismissed and they've only focused on the depression. What would you think? Or maybe this is just me and I just find the world and life hard?

I could have wrote this. I have dyslexia diagnosed at uni and then in my 20s was told I have depression. Only after lots of back and forth it turns out I don't have depression but ADHD. Have a read on ADHD because what you are displaying is literally exactly my life

Thanks for replying. I do fit a lot of the symptoms for ADHD as an adult but not many problems were noted as a child. I struggled with reading, mental maths, distracted by other kids but this was never seen as a problem as I got grades and was well behaved. We had a lot of naughty kids in my year group.

I'll try mention ADHD to my GP at my next appointment.

I am very similar to you and find it varies depending where I am in my cycle. Suspect I may have PMDD, but have also thought about whether I have ADHD. I'm quite good at getting on with things I need to do but find general life too much and some days just feel unable to cope with all the things I have to do. I've found it much harder since I had DD who is 2 now because there is just so much more to do and having to juggle demands of work, being a mum etc. I used to binge drink a lot to cope with stress and feeling overwhelmed in my twenties which made everything worse.

I binge drank in my 20s as well.
Definitely feel worse different times of month due to hormonal fluctuations. I'd feel like I was having brain outages and couldn't do anything! I take combined pill packs back to back now and it's soooo much better.

I’m a bit like this too. Have also wondered if I have ADHD. But if so, what do we do about it? Read somewhere thar omega 3 is good (then again, when isn’t omega 3 good). Have been taking fish oil. Also ginseng. Who knows it any of it works! Good luck op, and don’t be so hard on yourself. That’s to all of us on this thread!

Same here .. and getting worse as I age (39 now). I have often thought I have some neurodiverse condition. A new member of staff has started at work and was recently diagnosed as autistic, she sits and described her symptoms and 'quirks' and I'm like ........erm that's literally me!! Not sure what a diagnosis would bring now - and it's such a lengthy process. But actually, having an answer even if there was nothing to offer treatment wise would make life make sense. Solidarity xx

I relate to a lot of what you have said, and I have ADHD inattentive type. A lot of women were not diagnosed with ADHD as children because they don't tend to be disruptive in the way that boys with ADHD are. Depression is often comorbid with ADHD, because of course you'll become depressed if you feel like a mess who can't do anything right. Stimulant medication really helps a lot! I'm on Elvanse and it's a night and day difference.

I'm sure you're not crap at life - It's just pretty common to think like this when you're down!

It's tricky because once you start reading up on symptoms you can often find examples of where you fit many of them, plus several conditions have overlapping symptoms so a professional assessment is important.

To even out mood there are loads of things to try around self care - sleep routines, exercise, diet, relaxation techniques, keeping a mood diary so you've got a better picture of what's happening, when and why. A mood diary could be useful to take to the docs too.

I can relate to most of what you say

are you on any meds? No way could I get through working life without Prozac. My domestic life/habits are non existent at the moment.

Same! I still have ADHD though.

To those on medication, can you tell us a bit more. What’s it like to… be normal I guess? My mum (who definitely has undiagnosed adhd) was put on Prozac (depression) but it didn’t work for her.

for me, unmedicated, I have loads of coping strategies, including diaries, endless lists, stop watches, etc. I can’t keep all the tabs open in my mind! Does the medication help with that, help with the low moods described by the op? Basically, how do you feel on medication, and which meds are you on? Thx!