please help me

[empty]

i recently had a big abdominal operation (7 weeks ago) and am increasingly sinking into depression. i went to see my doctor yesterday and said it was temporary due to the gen anastheic plus we moved house just after the op. doctor suggested st johns wort and to go back in 4 weeks time if i still feel low.

it seems to have really intensified this week, and today i dont want to face anyone, wouldnt open the door when my postman knocked. Yesterday i bought some sexy underwear(!) in preparation for valentines day, i showed them to my dh and then threw them away when he wasnt looking. i just wanted him to find them in the bin and be upset. this is awful isnt it? i feel so horrible and nasty inside and live by the hour at the moment. one minute i feel ok, the next i feel vile.

Hi empty

Just wanted to reassure you that this will pass.I went through the same this after a major abominal op last year(hysterectomy),we also had moved earlier in the year.I felt utterly vile and worthless in all respects.I was questioning everything-my marriage,my appearance and my abilities as a parent.My husband didn't quite understand why I was so depressed,which made me more frustrated and worthless.

It didnt help being stuck indoors for 6 weeks recovering,I developed a mild case of agrophobia,it was rotten.

I still have my low days but I'm pushing myself out of that black hole.If you feel worse in these 4 weeks-don't hesitate to go back to your GP.You've been through a major op ,allow youself some time to get over that,but if you need help make sure you shout loudly for it!

I really hope you feel yourself soon.

Thoughts

You are not well at the moment, be kind to yourself.
A friend of mine has found st.johns wort did the trick but it doesn't work for everyone.

It does take a bit of time. Small steps every day will get you on the road to recovery.

thank you for sharing your experince poshwellies - sounds like you had a wretched time. glad to hear that you got through ok. xx

What upsets me is the feeling vile and the vile thoughts. i love my dh dearly and to know i am upsetting him on purpose is really going against the grain for me. i had a bilateral ovarian cystectomy by open surgery and was terrified before, during and even after i couldnt get my head round it as the problem came about very suddenly then within a few weeks i was in the operating theatre. thats one thing that still haunts me is that i had to walk in to the operating theatre and get on to the bed as opposed to being wheeled in on a bed.

i have never been so utterly terrified in my life. maybe i should consider councilling?

rosylily, thankyou.xx i will take the st johns wort today.

Having a major op whether its planned or a emergency is really frightening,you have the *what if I die during this op thoughts-I know I did.You sound like you are suffering from anxiety due from the op.

Go back to your gp and explain how its made you feel and how its effecting your thoughts.

Try if you can, to discuss it with your dh-does he know how badly this has effected you?

Just read this and had to post. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.I have a medical condition which means i need frequent surgical procedures, and i could have written your post myself after any of them. You've been through a lot both physically and emotionally and it always takes a while to get over - the anaesthetic doesn't help either. i was told it can take up to 2 weeks to get out of your system properly, and thats how it always feels to me.
That said, don'thesitate to go back to your gp if you feel like you are really slipping. It is generally best to catch these things earlier.
Hugs

well, things have got much worse. i have cried for most of today. am going back to my doctors today.

yesterday was my birthday and i was vile to everyone. everyone was being lovely to me and i was horrible.

all weekend i sniped and was horrible to everyone.

i am hoping to ask my doctor to refer me for therapy cos i dont know what else to do now.