Self esteem

[NOVA2023]

I need help with building my self esteem does anyone have pointers on how to

How was your childhood? Low self esteem often has it's roots in the early years.

I honest dont have many memories from my childhood, but what i have pieces together is we were not loved 3 out of 4 attempted suicide

That speaks says something

I'm sorry; your parents should have been better but maybe they didn't have good role models in their own upbringings.

Please have a look at these two videos on negative core beliefs, they are really good at explaining how we learn to think about ourselves when we are young;

Once you understand why you feel the way you do, you can start to change it - because you are not the sum of who you were. As a adult you can change the way you think, the way you feel and act.

This is an excellent book on understanding and changing these core beliefs;

www.amazon.co.uk/Responsibility-Rebellion-Unconventional-Approach-Empowerment/dp/154450912X

Thank you , I will look at those videos for sure I do have negative core beliefs and I know I'm a good person I help people out put everyone before myself and still up internally I think I'm a piece of s* when I tried to commit suicide I did it because I thought everyone in my family would be better off if I wasn't around I also have trouble trusting but I appreciate that the fact that you responded took the time to you help a stranger thank you

Hi @NOVA2023

I'm sorry to hear that you've had a suicide attempt and your childhood was not happy...
but this is a big step towards recovery from that and that's really really good...

The fact you don't remember much about your childhood is a symptom of having experienced Adverse Childhood Experiences (such as abuse of some kind, neglect etc) - often referred to as ACEs

Your core belief is formed before you're even in school and is based on how others around you treat you and react to you...

You feeling the way you do is NOT your fault.

Have you considered trying therapy? I'd recommend a therapist who specialises in ACEs and childhood trauma as well as being a licensed DDP (dyadic developmental psychotherapy) practitioner-

If you like reading or listening to books try reading The Body Keeps the Score or The Deepest Well. These are great books for explaining why your first experiences are so important and the impact.

Also try doing some affirmations- these really do help! Stand in a power pose in front of the mirror and speak positive statements over yourself... you might feel silly but just start in private, a couple of times a day, and see how you go.

Please do continue down this journey. It's going to get challenging but with a good therapist to support you the benefits will be huge and, without any exaggeration, life changing.

Be gentle with yourself but allow yourself fo feel worthy of the effort.