I have suffered from poor mental health since I was a very small child.
I am now 50 and am at a point in my life where I am completely consumed by my mental health issues. It is affecting every corner of my life, including my dh and family life.
I have various issues including generalised anxiety, awful health anxiety (not helped by my physical issues), ocd’s, depression/dark thoughts, social anxiety, low self esteem, existential fears. Everything overwhelms me. I struggle to manage my life but have always masked it well so it looks like I cope when inside I’m struggling excessively. I also suffer from physical issues (probably anxiety related) which then exacerbates the anxiety. I am not sure how or way my brain works like this but it’s been like this since I was around 5 years old. I had to learn to internalise everything as no one took my anxieties seriously back then.
I am becoming more reclusive these days, I truly feel weighted down and overwhelmed by life.
Over the years I have had many sessions of CBT via the NHS which hasn’t really helped me. I believe my anxiety issues are deeply set (On my mum’s side, we have a family history of anxiety issues) and I probably need something much more long term.
I have and do try to help myself by eating healthy, no caffeine, alcohol, drugs or smoking. I have tried many antidepressants but they trigger the bad digestive issues that I suffer from. I read lots of books on the subject, listen to relaxation apps and downloads etc. I really do try to help myself - at the end of the day no one wants to live like this so I try everything I can to alleviate the pain.
In the past, when I have had a little money come my way, I’ve tried some counselling and some EMDR which helped a little but were very short term as they were all with charities, so reduced fees.
If I had the money I would happily pay to see a therapist (not sure which therapy would be the best for my issues) longer term to help unravel and understand the way my brain functions and why I act the way I do etc but this is sadly not an option for me. I work minimal working hours due to my issues and just have never had the funds to see a someone.
My gp gave me the details for an organisation called Therapy for You, they can only offer typed CBT over the internet. I have tried this but it made my anxiety worse as it felt so impersonal. The GP also said that I can call 111 and chose option 2 for my dark thoughts!
Private therapy is obviously so expensive and not accessible to everyone.
How do those, like myself, on low incomes get help? Any advice?