please can someone talk to me? dh has just stormed out and I'm scared he's going to do something stupid.

[oranges]

HE's been absurdly stressed at work, and working long hours. I've been treading on eggshells but tonight made an (admittedly) silly comment, that sent him into an odd mood. He smashed a glass by accident and then just muttered he needed to go for a walk and left, leaving his phone. He's never done this before and I'm trying to keep calm, but wondering if rationally I need to call my brother to come over and watch the sleeping baby while I look for him.

Oranges, sorry to hear you are having a crap evening and that dh is under so much stress. I understand that you are probably worried about dh, but I wonder if it might be a good idea to let him "walk" it off for a while. He may need some space and it is probably wise to give it to him under the circumstances.

Agree with notjust though - if you are worried that he is really depressed rather than blowing off steam then that is different. But if you think that he is just worked up and needs to wind down again, I would leave him for a while, before setting up a search party. Could he have gone far? Do you live somewhere rural or are you in a city? Does he have any friends nearby that he could have gone to see?

You know, my DH always leaves his phone when he needs some space... It really freaks me out, because I like to be able to call him, but that's the whole point: He doesn't want me to be able to call, so the best thing he can do is make sure I can't... Does that make sense?

How long has he been gone?

Does he have any 'previous' in terms of reacting badly to stress?
If not, he may well just need some space/time out of the house. I sometimes think that just getting away is the best way to cope when you're at breaking point - similar to the thing when you walk away from a child who's driving you bonkers . Much scarier for the person left behind, though.

I think that if he has just gone for a walk and needs time to think then you should try not to worry and let him come home when he is ready. He is probably feeling overwhelmed with everything that is going on and needs to time to think. As notjust asks, does he have a history or said anything that would make you think he would harm himself?

Don't worry - no news is good news - lots of hugs and hoping he comes back soon. x

((((hugs))) oranges.

hopefully he'll have a good walk, some (albeit freezing cold) fresh air, and straighten some stuff out in his head.

my DP did this once, got in the car and drove, thought, shit, where am i going, came home! We had had the mother of all rows and he was on the verge of a breakdown. But the space calmed him down, its probably all your DH needs. Doesnt make it any easier to do the waiting. Hope all is well (im sure it will be)

thanks. he's back. he does have a history, which made me worry. trying to talk things through.

Glad he's back.

Hope you guys can talk.

Give him a huge hug and tell him you love him.
xxxx

well we are both tired - i said i fantasised about checking into a posh hotel alone for a night's sleep in a huge bed. he said he fantasised about killing himself. it's going to be a LONG night. but thanks for your support. x

Hope the night's chat went well oranges
x