Very depressed

[ChallengerDeep]

Hi, I need a handhold and some advice.

I believe I'm very depressed and have nobody I can talk to. One of my DC has ASD, I have no local family and I made a huge mistake at work which might cost thousands money to my company if it comes up. I make lots of mistakes, I'm just crap and stupid. My relationship is not doing great.

I feel so hopeless and don't know what to do. So very desperate. I just want to go to sleep and disappear. I don't feel like eating either.

Hello, I couldn't read & run.
Have you told work about the mistake?

I'm so very sorry to read this, op.

First stop must be your GP for help with your depression. Please try and seek help as soon as you can. You might need to emphasise when making the call that it's urgent and maybe say what you've said here, in order to get through the triage quicker and not have to wait too long.

Regarding the work mistake, I think in your position I would, in all honesty, want to speak to my manager and tell them what's happened as just hiding it is making it ten times worse. Tell them about how you are feeling. Really once it is out in the open, you can deal with it properly.

Try and eat little things. Your appetite is quite understandable shot to bits from the depression and probably food is the last thing you want but try little....toast, little bits here and there.

Not sure how to advise you regarding your relationship as you haven't really given any detail but first stop is seeking medical advice, then sort the work issue and the rest later.



My DH is quite shouty and it's my fault for forgetting things.

Is DH aware of how depressed you are? You are struggling. I'm sure being shouted at is not helping no matter what mistakes you mike make. Sit him down and talk to him.

Yes, I tried talking to him, but he won't listen. He's always shouted and doing it more with time. I avoid discussing it.

I know you said they aren't local, but could you ring your family & explain the situation? Maybe taking a bit of time out and go visit them and have a break from your partner will be helpful.

I think your partner being 'shouty' is adding to your depression. It also sounds as if he is being emotionally and vocally abusive.

I know it's scary, but could you call your GP or the Samaritans? They may be a local charity or organisation which can help. I have just self-referred back to a counselling organisation as I have never felt so low. No money, no job, chronic insomnia, a long-term health situation and I've just been dumped. I think being dumped was a bit of a relief actually, as I don't have to 'fake' being OK anymore.

But you do need professional help.

I make lots of mistakes, I'm just crap and stupid.

No you are not. You're stressed to fuck.

And not wanting to eat is a classic sign of depression and one I'm having too.

Keep talking here if it helps.