Rock and a hard place.

[Whatalife88]

I've suffered from mental health issues, mainly depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember (I'm 30s now), I also have chronic pain. I work part time in a school and husband works full time but not the best wage. We have 3 children of varying ages. One child is a toddler not yet at nursery (can't afford until free hours in September).

My job causes my chronic pain to kick in as it is quite physical and I have to walk to and from. There is also a lot of issues at the school such as short staff and safeguarding issues. No one is listening to my concerns, I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. It's getting to the point where I'm so stressed my pain is getting worse and I'm feeling generally unwell. I want to leave but currently have no job to fall back on(applying for more office based jobs due to pain though), my wage is small but is something else coming in. I also feel bad for walking away from the children at school.

My husband is caring and understanding but isn't helping the stress, basic things like leaving him with toddler to have a bath turns into another nightmare as he doesn't do simple things like close the safety gate, toddler gets into mischief and cue husband becoming annoyed, toddler screaming and me having to jump out the bath. Regular occurrence of similar situations. He's also just got a fine for driving after just passing a few weeks ago and so we've lost some money and im now wondering how he passed his test. More stress.

All of this on top of house work etc and feeling trapped. Everyone is happy but me. I have nothing other than my kids that I want in life or do to make me happy as I'm so busy. I don't know what else to do. I'm also undergoing tests at the moment at the hospital.Do I quit my job?

Go to your gp and tell them you are struggling to work due to chronic pain which in turn is affecting your MH. See if you can get some time off until you are feeling in a better place or a better pain management plan. Ask your HT if they can refer you to your works occupational health as most councils will have this facility. Speak to Occ health about your chronic pain and how it is affecting your work/home life & MH.
They should ask to access your medical files and will assess to see if they can put things in place at work to aid you.
Phone your local advice centre and ask if someone can advise if you would qualify for PIP (personal independance payments) as if you qualify you may be able to afford to reduce working hours to aid health issues. Hope this helps and things get better for you.

I agree with the PP about speaking to your GP about a better pain management plan. I had an awful few years with trying to work in agony from chronic sciatica, until we found an effective level of painkillers. It badly affected my mental health at the time, but it makes life so much more manageable when pain is under control.